How much is too much?

I am a 33 year old male. Particularly since the pandemic and as I mostly work from home, I have been struggling a lot with my urges and 'that' side of being a man. Despite my age, it seems I cannot figure out how much should I consider to be 'natural' and how much could be too much, even addiction, linked to bad habits.

I really swing between these two mindsets in my brain, which for the past years have led to periods why I try to go 'cold turkey' and abstain or remain as 'clean' as possible, trying to rebalance, and others where I would maybe binge - in opposition to what I consider just binging all the time.

I have the feeling that most other males may have the same habits or do the stuff that I do and be completely fine with it. In my case, from time to time I overthink this all so much and struggle, maybe out of fear of 'falling' and just going for it in a way that I won't be able to come back, or whatever.

At the same time, I reckon it does not make a lot of sense that I should depend on a certain metric or someone else's jusdgement as a measure for my own behaviour. But I have a rather 'controlling' personality and thus things ike this (which are more based on impulses/hormones) are not always easy. It scares me to fully accept this side of myself and therefore let go, but I can also not give it up completely, neither do I want to.

I would be happy to connect with listeners to discuss with topics or other buddies who feel they can relate.