Is it wrong?...
I've done a lot of things my junior year of high school... but I've picked up a bad habit, or I guess is bad... I've never told anyone this but I just need to get it off my chest...
I was getting around that time where I start feeling horny, feeling the need to make love to someone... since I couldn't have sex at the time, instead of just asking for help or just doing something else, I resorted to porn... I became addicted to it, every night I would hop on my phone and browse pornhub... I found sexual pleasure by masturbating... I still masturbate on a regular basis but I don't watch porn anymore, I lost interest because I started dating again... I've decided I want to break this habit, my girlfriend isn't a sexual person so I want to be completely clean for her, she knows of my habit and I promised her that I would break it for her... so ive also decided to tell my therapist of my habit the next time I get a chance to talk with her...
I just want help... if anyone had this habit and broke it, I would love some ideas to break it... I just want to be clean...
@ItsJustLauren
Hey Lauren. It really sounds like there is some confusion as to whether or not you should be masturbating or watching pornography.
I'm not going to respond about that, because all I would be sharing is my personal opinion on the matter. I wish to respond to something that spoke to me on a deeper level, which is this desire to change myself for someone else.
It is my own experience that this doesn't work. I have found that I can stop doing something for a time, and feel good about how it appears I am now living in a specific way. But for me, in addiction, I inevitably return back to what I was doing before. The reason for this is that I wasn't changing for me. I didn't do it for me and ultimately, I didn't want to change.
When I changed, it was because I found that the way I was living my life was destroying the person I thought I was. Masturbation and pornography had stopped becoming choices and turned into a way of life. A life that didn't think of other people and only centered and concentrated on what I wanted in any given moment. It got really crazy for a while. I broke hearts and hurt people. It wasn't pretty. And I thought I was having fun and only impacting myself.
So, I'm exciting for you, in a new relationship. But if you really want to change, it really seems to me that it's gotta be for you.
I'd love to talk more about it, if you'd like to explore trying some of the things that I've done.