Please help
I feel like Im getting addicted watching porn and masturbating. It feels very shameful to just brag about it but I don't know anymore what to do with it.
@gmarta89
Hello! I just want to first say that it's incredible that you are reaching out for support. It shows a lot of strength, so you should be very proud.
I myself am currently struggling with porn/masturbation addiction. I have been struggling alone for over a decade so I know just how tough it is and all the horrible feelings that come along with it. First off, though I myself am still on my journey, from my experience you will want to first try to understand why you are doing this. A lot of times people use this as a coping mechanism. It is used to cope with so many issues from sexual abuse to bordem and so much more. No matter what though you need to remember that these types of situations do have a purpose in life. I'm not saying that porn/masturbation addictions are good but you can always learn something from any type of struggle.
I also know that reaching out to a family member or friend seems like the last thing you'd ever want to do but having someone close to you can be a HUGE help. Just the other day I was able to open up to my Aunt about my porn addiction. It was so hard. Words could not describe what I was feeling. But I'm lucky because she is a very caring and understanding woman. If you do not have someone like that in your life or even if you do and just want more support you are more than welcome to contact me. Sometimes having someone who also going through the same situation can help.
[MonBon removed personal contact info]
@Ginger262 @gmarta89
I love both of your posts. It takes courage to ask for help. You should both take pride in that.
My situation wasn't so fortunate. I was caught.
Just typing that word out makes me sick. If my life wasn't going to be destroyed I would have never been able to ask for help. I kept secrets my entire life . I lied my entire life. I hid so much from so many people.
Ginger makes a great point - if you're going back to something repeatedly you're most likely using it as a coping mechanism for something you are unable to "process" in your life. For me it started small but slowly became my coping mechanism for everything I wanted to avoid.
Too much work to do? Go watch porn
Too much stress? Watch porn, masturbate, you'll feel better
Feeling anxious about what people might be saying about you? You'll feel better if you isolate and watch porn excessively.
Your significant other is in a bad mood? Don't bother them for sexual intamcy, that would be selfish, go take care of it yourself.
These are just a small subset of thoughts I would have and in hindsight i can see how unreasonable this justification was. The cure was to talk to people about my stress, anxiety, thoughts. That was scary... sharing my thoughts. My thoughts were becoming so perverted I didn't want to tell a single soul about them.
It's remarkable how liberating it is to share these things with others though. Share it with friends or other people who are struggling that can help you. The fantasies. The obsession. It was destrying my life and my health.
I believe that stimulation of your senses is the true cure. Think about it...orgasim and masturbation are a sensory stimulation. You see, you feel, you hear, you may smell something, your senses being stimulated distracts you from your problem. It's easy to quickly distract yourself with sensory stimulation. Then you have this release with climax.
If you can find sensory stimulation in a healthy sense, you can find a healthier coping mechanism. Not that you want to have a coping mechanism to rely on, but stopping anything cold turkey would be impossible and it would be setting yourself up for disaster. Walking through the woods and listening to the sounds, smelling the air, seeing nature, feeling the air, leaves, etc. that can become your new way to stimulate your senses. What you can't do is sit in front of a computer and try to have sensory stimulation ..... that's counter productive.
I've been typing for a while and this may have gotten hard to follow. My thoughts move fast. If you ever want to talk to someone about this stuff though, I've been there. Happy to share and listen.
@Ginger262
Thanks!!!