ADHD Question: Punctuality

@ouiCherie

I find that my difficulties with punctuality are usually related to disorganization and distraction in the getting ready process.

I have a few strategies that I have had some success with:

1. Keep important things in the same place. ALWAYS. Do not pass go, do not leave them in a pocket somewhere and then have your terrible working memory send you on a wild goose chase (been there). Keys and wallet in a bowl for example. In general having a set place for things and minimizing clutter is super helpful. Things are less likely to distract you if you can't see them. Things are less likely to be forgotten if you can see them.

2. Create a getting ready routine, especially for things you have to get ready for regularly like work or an activity you go to regularly. Break it down into it steps and what order to do them in. Literally write them down or even set alarms on your phone for each step if you need to. I find having a playlist of songs as part of the routine can help as well. It can help to remind you of the steps and keep you focused on the task at hand. Also, alarms and song changes can help snap you out of distractions and daydreaming.

3. Do as much of the prep work as possible waaaay in advance. I for one, have terrible decision paralysis, and so if getting ready includes something like picking out an outfit, it helps if I choose it way ahead of time so that when getting ready time actually comes, I am not making any decisions, I am just getting things done.

4. Have someone help you get ready and hold you accountable. Personally, I am fortunate to have a very good friend who is comfortable giving me some tough love and helping me when I know I am going to have a hard time meeting a deadline and need someone to cheer me on and hold me accountable. If you are meeting up with a friend, you could even let them know you are really trying hard to work on being on time more. Asking your friends or family to give you positive feedback for being on time, and negative but constructive feedback if you are late.

5. It might sound obvious, but give yourself extra time and be realistic about how long it takes YOU and your ADHD brain to get ready not how much time you think it should take to get ready. Give yourself some extra wiggle room in case you get distracted by something.

6. Leave the phone alone! If you are anything like me, your devices are just an endless source of distraction. Make a concious effort not to get distracted by your devices and the things that distract you on them. I use my phone's focus mode to help by blocking out distracting apps while I am trying to focus. I also keep my phone out of reach of my bed so that I can't be distracted using it in bed and potentially wasting time in the morning when I should be getting ready.

6. Give yourself consequences to tardiness. I have a membership at a yoga studio and I always make it to class on time, because if I am late you can't go in and you are still charged for the class. You can also set your own consequences/rewards for not being on time.

7. Gameify it. How do you make being on time a game, you might ask? Trying to get as close to a certain time as possible, racing someone or racing against your best time. Trying to get a certain task for getting ready done before a song is over.

8. Set up another lower priority thing to do in the same place that your important thing is. I find this works especially well of the lower priority thing is something I like so that I would be disappointed if I miss out on it by running late. For example, let's say you are meeting friends to go to a concert. You find that there is a coffee shop just around the corner from the venue. You plan to get there early enough to enjoy a coffee before the show. That way if you end up being late to getting coffee, hopefully you aren't so late that you are now also late for the show.

9. Narrate what you are doing out loud. I find that sometimes narrating things as I am doing them can help me while getting ready from getting distracted. Sometimes I will even chant like a sports fan or make a silly song to myself about what I am doing.

I realise that this is a bit of a novel, but I hope at least some of it is helpful.

All the best! :)