Any advice on how to best approach my partner with ADHD?
Hi guys!
As the title says, I’m looking for advice on how to approach a relationship with my romantic interest that has ADHD. I was reading up on it and I know that it’s not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing but a lot of what I read seems to match up with my experience with him so far.
What I thought was lovebombing at the beginning was actually him just hyper fixating on me and getting excited to have a new person in his life. I’ve also experienced a great deal of the perceived loss of interest where one minute he’s all about me, and the next I don’t exist to him. I’ve noticed the zoning in and out while having serious conversations with him. The forgetfulness which has led to him double booking and his friends crash the middle of our date. Then a few smaller things like the restlessness and stuff like that.
Again, I know not everyone experiences the same symptoms but these are just the ones I’ve read about that I notice he’s displayed. None of this is mean to shame him because I know it’s mostly out of his control but you can see how as his partner, it can be hurtful and confusing for me to navigate.
Im just wondering if any of you guys have any advice to give me wether it’s insight on how his mind might be working or tips on how to support him, anything and everything is welcomed and appreciated!
Thank you all!!! 😇
@Kats666
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Wow! You have a tremendous amount of compassion and patience!
Keep communicating your needs gently with him.
Encourage him to find tools for tracking his commitments to avoid double-booking. Remember, physical planners aren't always helpful for ADHDers. I use a wall calendar to track appointments and other important dates, and I use Trello on my phone to manage my daily tasks. Remember -- out of sight, out of mind. The ADHD brain needs things to be visible, otherwise they get forgotten. Tools and systems for managing ADHD must be easy, simple, and interesting. I tried a bullet journal briefly and it required too much effort.
As for zoning out, you could help him find a quiet fidget toy. The sensory input may help him focus.
@Kats666
@Kats666 patience is key, but have a conversation with him and ask him what would be helpful for him, everyone is different
