Difficulty Decluttering/Purging
Hey all,
I’ve been a messy person my entire life. It also doesn’t help that I have several family members who are hoarders (not to the point of their houses being a disaster but to the point where every single closet is full of stuff that’s not being used).
I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd until I was an adult (I’m now in my 40’s) and one of my bad habits is putting things down mindlessly and not remembering where I put them and going out to buy a new one. Let’s just say I have an extensive collection of nail clippers and tweezers.
I also have a major problem throwing things away. I don’t have the patience for reselling high value things like unused electronics and our thrift stores nearby are super picky on what they’ll take. At the same time I feel super guilty just throwing perfectly good things away in the trash.
When I can manage to declutter some I get started in then get overwhelmed with the process and stop. I literally want to just throw it all in the trash and be done with it but then I get my dad in the back of my head saying I should try to recycle/sell it. Additionally I tend to hang on to things that are broken with the thought of fixing it/using it “someday” but the someday never happens.
I get that certain things do need to be recycled or disposed of a certain way, but how do I get over just throwing things away in the trash? The Marie Kondo 3 pile method has worked well before to an extent when I had swap shops or thrift stores that literally took everything in donations. Where I live now doesn’t have that kind of facility but I still feel guilty throwing things in the trash that really has no value and isn’t being used.
Any help/tips that are adhd friendly would be greatly appreciated.
@secretVase5665 would you like to chat
@dogmommy05😊
Sure! I don’t have a ton of friends and a lot of family doesn’t understand what I’m dealing with.
@secretVase5665 I hear you on this! It feels like a never ending process. Do you live in a Populated area where you can put some of the nicer things in your yard with a “free” sign? Or possibly even have a yard sale?
I live in an apartment complex so we can’t put things outside or have yard sales. But I used to put things out by the road with free signs on them all the time in the past when I was able to do so. The last complex I lived also let us put free items in the community room which was awesome.
Hello. I am desperate to talk to someone who has some experience with hoarding. You said your family members are semi hoarders.
I have a boyfriend who is 66 years old. He has never been married and has no close family. I am trying to help him with his hoarding issues. His home is really unsafe and a fire hazard. But everytime I say I would like to help him clean he pulls away from me. First he says, O yes. But then a few days later he says he doesn't want to see anymore. This has happened too many times to count. But we always get back together. This is a pattern but it is causing me a lot of pain. I am really confused by this behavior. I really don't understand it. With everything else we are fine. I am always real gentle with approach.
Can you put the higher value items that are still good outside for anyone to pick up?
I recommend watching Clutterbug on YouTube. The host also has ADHD, and she used to struggle just like me and you! She can help you find your organizing stylish so that you don't have to keep buying so many tweezers. She gives tough love, including urging us to just throw it out. And she is hilarious! Watch her videos to the end for funny true stories.
The stuff you're holding onto that you won't ever use is bullying you! Tossing it out will free you.
You can try decluttering one small space every day. Grab a trash bag, donation bin or bag and a bag or bin for misplaced items and pick a very small space, like a junk drawer. If donating is too difficult, and you don't see yourself giving an item to someone else any time soon, throw it out! Junk is less harmful in a landfill than in your home. Even if that junk was expensive.
*style LOL
I just remembered a tip from another professional organizer on YouTube, The Minimal Mom: Have a "Time Will Tell" bin for items you think you might use in the next 3-6 months. Label the bin "Time Will Tell" and write the date that you will decide whether to keep the item(s)or let it go. This might help with decision paralysis.
Yet another tip: grab a trash bag and set a timer for 5 minutes and pick up as many pieces of trash as you can. Set timers for decluttering, too.
