Do I have ADHD?
First off. No I do not want to have adhd
Secondly it's becoming increasingly problematic having my head always filled with so many thoughts it tough to jot them down.
WHY NOW?? I've started my first JOB Stakes for completion of a certain tasks have never been higher. screwing things up means getting fired. i had an internship and this has gotten me fired once.. reason being the same I was doing 16 things at a time no one got completed.
People who see me doing tasks and who knows about ADHD say with a certainty that I amjave severe ADHD. Even i think I do have severe attention deficit and Non functional hyperactivity. But for some reason I refuse to settle on this conclusion. Constantly this thought continue to roam around my head on what if I am faking this or making this up to get an excuse... I am extremely secretive about these thoughts too.. and I just refuse to believe when someone tells me - dude you have adhd.
Writing this is causing a pressing pain in my chest. this constant hammering is getting problematic. and everything is taking so much deliberate effort. simple things are being required to be done with active attention and full awareness.. its tooo exhausting.
I don't have any friend I could talk about this with...
I absolutely want to make this clear to anyone who tries to talk to me- DONOT TRY TO PATRONIZE ME. IT IS NOT OK I KNOW IT IS NOT OK.
i see people around me they don't get this all time overflow of so many *** hard.
I hate that word lonely... No I am not lonely. i don't want to be.
It is true that sometime its weeks that i talk with a person. like really. but i am not willing to accept that I am lonely
Im not some helpless person. I can manage the stress. Its just so many things as it would be in any job...
I don't know how it got to this... i have been like this always but there were people around me always and things were manageable I am used to doing many things but it's not usually obligatory. But I am in a job and stakes are higher.
Ofcourse I would be excused by people or by myself for that matter, for the reason of for ex. i have ADHD. But it is absolutely unacceptable to be to be seen by someone as a person with an excuse.
I have had a history of out performing what I was given... there these constant overwhelming streams of thought has always helped. But now it's heavier.
Whyy is everything taking so much effort to doo. Everything seems soo large. things used to happen with 1x effort and last couple years it has been 1.5x and now it's 2x effort. THE same Things. Don't give me an example that as you get old things are tougher or time goes slower due to ageing sh*t. I see people doing the same thing with ease. then whyyyy am I not able to do it.
Constant pain of the things that I was supposed to be and I am not haunts me in a seperate stream of thoughts which keeps hammering 24.7. AND ITS NOT OK FOR ME.
Its Saturday today I've been doing this for the last few weeks I just go out just to see people. wherever the public bus takes me. I am glad to see them just people. I just sit for hours in a park. Being along feels wrong. but it's comfortable and it's almost difficult to talk.
I don't want to have ADHD. But I'm afraid I might be among the severely affected. I cannot go for a Diagnosis. If it's a questionnaire online the result is always severely affected. but I don't trust online questionnaire it can't tell if you really have things.
I don't want to go to a professional or A Doctor because if am diagnosed with it, It would stick with me. I don't want it to be true. What if I am making myself believe that.
@IntelligentEnergy What would it mean to you if you were to get a diagnosis? Can you picture what might be different, or the same?
My usual way of doing things is that nothing is wrong and it's me who can fix things.. all of life I have dealt with all my problems. i am of knowledge that while people take help of others for difficult things. i have just took it upon myself (even with lot of efforts and unnecessary struggle). I have done things without help.
Even if I get a Diagnosis, I would be a private thing for a long that I am certain.
Major thing that will change is My attitude of believe nothing is wrong and everything is fixable... if I formally get to know something is wrong...
I have a habit of licking (not literally) small instances. Like something told me smthing that you did this great work on this report. You gave a good reply to that guy. common in school and university and most other times. You have a double face nature - smthing my high school principal told me once, You a too rigid- one other teacher did.
This will keep roaming in my mind for eternity. both positive and negative. more positive ones cause lol I try to keep in my mind what people tell me because of the already low interactions.
I can't imagine what will a diagnosis make me do.
I don't do irrational sh*t. i *** think bout everything, but my thinking is limited to my mind and understanding. I will believe right what i understand is right.
About time that I make myself feel rational about doing smthing crazy
Whatever you decide to do, it’s your choice. Either decision you make sounds like a difficult one, but I think you came to a good place to work through some thoughts about it. I’m not going to weigh in whether you should or not because it’s so personal. But I would say if you did get a formal diagnosis, there are resources that could potentially become available to you, so I would just say that even though it’s intimidating, it might be worth thinking about what that might look like now and in the future. Diagnoses are typically private information that you don’t have to share. On the other hand, if you feel connections in ADHD, you may be able utilize some techniques and free information that could be helpful without a formal diagnosis. What originally drew you to coming into this community on 7Cups?
@IntelligentEnergy
only way know have adhd get evaluate from doctor if do got adhd can get things help you
I'm motivation to avoid diagnosis enough to not anyone know about it. enough to bear the missey
