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I am not stupid

User Profile: inventiveCake4988
inventiveCake4988 May 22nd, 2024

So I am ADHD/ADD combined type. I am super talkative and hyper and all over the place.

but I am actually very intelligent.

i have low self esteem so me saying that means a lot to me!

but I am a nurse in the icu. And because I just spit things out it sound goofy and I like to be funny and giggly and bubbly. And sometimes sarcastic but not a dry sarcasm.

and I feel like NOONE understands who I am yet.

it shocks me because when I was on night shift they got me and understood me.

but now? It hurts my feelings honestly. Like I’m either suppose to be myself and be looked down on and felt stupid. Or not be myself and not talk to anyone and not be happy.


why is it when i try to make everyone’s day by just being kind and happy and they want to tear that down?

the happiness is all surface level.

This causes me to not be able to be close to anyone at all which also really hurts me

I believe I have a personality disorder too because with my husband, I assume things I split and it’s like a roller coaster. I never get angry easily. I unintentionally don’t think the best about him at the time and then maybe two days later I’ll be so in love with him, it doesn’t make sense to me and that’s why I can’t be close anybody or trust anybody nobody is going to make me feel any type of feelings that will hurt me or make me think differently about somebody. How sad is that thanks, mom

2
User Profile: MidwesternCalmSeeker
MidwesternCalmSeeker May 25th, 2024

@inventiveCake4988 

Thanks for sharing that, Cake. I think many of us - myself included - feel misunderstood at times. It comes down to individuals, in my opinion - those who seek to understand a person's good intentions and those who judge the action without thought. I choose to ignore those who do not "get me" and embrace those who take the time to get to know me and understand the real me. You indicated that you did not have the negativity when you worked the night shift, so remember that it is not you, it's them! It's just hard to rise above it sometimes, so I can appreciate what you are saying. 

User Profile: sympatheticMaple2555
sympatheticMaple2555 May 30th, 2024

@inventiveCake4988 It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and your feelings are completely valid. Here are a few thoughts that might help:


1. **Embrace Your Strengths**: Your intelligence, kindness, and humor are amazing qualities. Remember the positive feedback you've received in the past.

2. **Communication**: Consider having a candid conversation with your colleagues. Sharing your feelings might help them understand you better.

3. **Self-Care**: Talk to a therapist about your feelings and relationship dynamics. They can provide strategies to help manage your emotions.

4. **Boundaries**: It's okay to set boundaries to protect your well-being and take time to recharge.

5. **Find Allies**: Seek out people who appreciate you. Reconnect with supportive colleagues or find new friends who value your energy.

6. **Self-Acceptance**: Be kind to yourself. It's okay not to be understood by everyone. Prioritize your happiness and well-being.

Your feelings matter, and there are ways to navigate these challenges while staying true to yourself. I am having a cup of tea placed on a cup coaster and enjoying myself.  
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