Idk, just writing
Hey everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay,
I’m not even sure why I’m writing here, I guess I just need to say how I feel. I don’t think I necessarily need help because… how could anyone help, really? I just want to talk somewhere, because I have no one to share this with, and I feel like I’m going through all of it alone. At the same time, I don’t even know what I expect. But yeah… anyway
I feel invalidated all the time, I often don’t even know what I’m feeling, and that’s really hard. Sometimes I wonder if someone or something created this version of me. It feels like the constant criticism about who I am is slowly destroying the real me. I don’t even know how to act anymore because I don’t know what’s expected of me.
I don’t feel like other people. I wish I could be like them. Or maybe not.. I don’t know. But maybe if I were like them, I’d feel some peace? and that sounds worth it. I guess
Today was just another day but somehow, tonight, all the questions came up again and I don’t know why now, or why like this.
I know this probably sounds confused, but I needed to let it out, otherwise I feel like I’m going to explode from the inside.
I hope y’all had a good day, or at least a peaceful one. Sending love to everyone 🌸
@Leyleyckhx
When it comes to self-identity, challenging it, and trying to figure out who we are, is an ongoing developmental task.
Once honest introspection begins, feeling as though something or someone created a version of you makes sense, because before you start questioning who you are, who you think you are is based on what others think of you, environment, and cultural conditioning. It can be difficult to arrive at an accurate self-concept.
It also sounds like you are being burdened with criticism and expectations from others. In today's world, it's hard to avoid those things. We all have to deal with choosing which expectations are worth meeting, and which ones to ignore. If you don't know what's expected of you, it sounds like those who are expecting it don't know either. That can be hard to live with. Perhaps you can ask for some clarity.
So you don't feel like other people. Guess what? Other people don't feel like other people! I've never met anyone who didn't feel "different." It's just that many of us are pretty good at hiding that feeling.
When it comes to validation, there are two things to consider. The first is that feeling validated is an integral part of discovering who you are, which is who you have a right to be. The second thing is, the most important validation is self acceptance and awareness of your own worth.
There are a lot of people who seek to make others feel invalidated, mainly because they themselves don't feel validated. It's a form of jealousy, just as many people resent those who act confident.
I usually identify myself as the person I’m being in the present moment. After all, how can I be anyone else? That’s a way to become familiar with who you are. You may discover, “I’m the kind of person who expresses admiration to someone for their work.” Or, “I’m the kind of person who immediately makes my bed when I get up.” Consider also, by finding things to admire in others, you’re revealing, at least in potential, those attributes in yourself. You can’t “be like” another person, but you can identify habits worth adopting. It’s a way to discover which habits and behaviors are a “good fit” for you.
That you’re already trying to figure yourself out, means you’re already ahead of a lot of people.
Take care!
