Is this adhd
Doing my beat to understand my brain more and I tend to go into emorional eb and flows which happened on farhers dad a day where all my emotions take over for diff parts in my life stages & the healthy budding relationship with my father. My thoughts toom me away for the day like autopilot. It was over whelming and I stayed in my thoughts thru the day knowing I wanted to tlk tk my dad.
So I wrote this txt to him tonight and sent it.
✨✨✨
You deserve an apology for not hearing from me on Father’s day
The emotions I was having leading up to I should have went into a therapy session before to gain clarity on the transition our relationship and what it is forming into
hiding in my overstimulated head space
How our bond has grown, what emotions you felt leading up to that day, your over all well being
I let my deep thoughts carry me through the day, doing my best to figure it out and knowing I needed to sit with you and just talk
My emotions already short with my daughters father’s recent antics, that still is triggering to a degree
I apologize for not speaking my heart to you, knowing it helps us connect.
✨✨✨
I just know there is healing space we need together & it is getting there. We do not live in the same state so we need to tlk more. We do thru txt and sometimes we chat on the phone. I have not seen him since my daughter was 4months old, she is ten now. Before that is was 19 urs not seeing him. I am doing my best not to live in the past. Where we are at presently I am happy with. My inner child may still need healing from our spaced out connection.
@Lenaye8
Based on what you’ve written here, I wouldn’t assume any of it is evidence of ADHD. I think the emotions you’re experiencing make total sense. It’s difficult to attain and stick with a long-distance relationship with a loved one, especially since that person wasn’t in your life for so many years.
I’d imagine it would be difficult to carry on a comfortable conversation when there are large voids of time in which your lives were separate, and it may seem impossible to fill in the gaps. My dad left when I was ten. We did end up getting back together years later, but even when we were doing well together, sometimes the thought would come to mind, “where were you?” You might say that I was still grieving the abandonment, forgiving and trying to build a decent relationship all at the same time.
Facing all those issues at once is plenty of reason for the mind to feel distracted, quite possibly making it difficult to process unrelated thoughts, or as you put it, “overstimulated head space.” No doubt, you have other issues calling for your attention as well.
I love your thoughts and willingness to give the relationship with your dad very deep and open-hearted consideration. I also think there are times when both circumstances and the need for self-care make it understandable to miss a Father’s day greeting. Your efforts to rebuild the relationship MORE than makes up for missing the day.
It sounds like you’re doing a better job of healing your relationship with your father than I did with mine. You seem to have natural and profound wisdom.
