The internet says I have ADHD so here I am (?)…
I’ve never been diagnosed with adhd, as my parents don’t really believe in mental health or would want to face the fact that I might have a “mental disorder,” which is likely because in their perception, it’s someone that has all these crazy behaviors (hitting people, cursing on the street and whatever…)
However, whenever I google any related symptoms of adhd like on Reddit and Quora (not the most credible source but you find answers to various issues so who knows), there’s always a bunch of adhd posts that come up or someone saying that “you might have adhd,” etc. But I honestly don’t think I have adhd, and it’s honestly just me being lazy and undisciplined, and I’m being cautious with this because I don’t want this to become an excuse for all my behaviors, when I’m not sure that I truly have adhd.
Either way, I’m still going to engage with this group because it might help me to better understand whether I truly have adhd and discover some tips that might help with some of my problems as well. Just in case your curious, here are some of my similar “symptoms”:
- Procrastinating school work & things I don’t want to do till last minute, which is often past midnight. This is quite serious, as I’ve been chronically, seriously sleep deprived because of this. Procrastinating the whole day and rushing late at night… I even do this with exercise. I’ve exercised at 2 am in the morning because of this, and is definitely not good.
My procrastination cycle:
- I want to start studying
- I get overwhelmed and stressed over how much I have to study, and how painful it feels to have to make sure I study everything I need to the level I want.
- I can’t get myself started, and I feel anxious about this. I want to start, but I don’t feel like I can face the level of stress and pain that I’m going to feel when I study.
- I tell myself I still have time, and uses my phone has a source of escape from all the stress and overwhelm I feel, as it’s a source of easy dopamine, and a quick way of making me feel better and less miserable, at least in the short term.
- I also can’t accept failure, so you’ll see me rushing work at 2 am even though I have to wake up in a few hours for school.
- Reading is a struggle. This might be a reason why I don’t like to read. Sometimes I have to read a line multiple times to understand it and if I try to read faster, I won’t remember what I’ve just read previously. Great way of slowing down my reading speed.
If anyone has any insights or interesting thoughts feel free to share! Thanks for listening. :)
@ZinYA0938
What you have described fits many people i know ... with the exception of actually doing the work late at night ... they fake an illness and get an extension etc... i think in the grand scheme of things we all have things we put off and rationalize ... if we goggle symptoms or things that sound like symptoms we can self diagnose anything...
have you sat down and really tried to figure out why you are so unmotivated to study ? or exercise?
not interested in subject to study think it is irrelevant..... or some may be afraid of not doing well and do not study as an excuse in case of failure.... exercise not seeing results of feeling better in doing it hard to keep that motivation.
I believe it is a mind frame ... when we do have motivation....... I am often amazed at how much one can accomplish in a short time ..... what gets you motivated is different for everyone .... some may be spurred by competition.... goals .... i once even hiked a huge hill because of spite ..... someone said i would not do it and i went up took photo and pretty much said in your face to them....
find out your why then you can find out your how to be motivated
Hey there, sorry to hear you’re in this place, it sounds like it’s been a big stressor for you. I can’t speak as much to the procrastination, but can say your struggles with reading are very relatable to me. I was diagnosed previously, but the diagnosis became much more real to me after taking meds when I picked up a book and read for an hour, didn’t have to re-read any sections, and seemingly retained everything from it. I was totally blown away as I suddenly understood why test taking was so hard for me compared to a lot of my peers. I do know reading struggles can be from other issues too, such as vision problems, so while it is relatable it doesn’t necessarily confirm a diagnosis. However, that sounds like it is a challenge to deal with and makes school difficult for you.
If you’re looking for more information about ADHD and what it looks like in every day life from a reliable source, there’s a free podcast called “Something Shiny” that is hosted by two therapists who both have ADHD. Some episodes do talk about diagnosis, especially since one of the hosts struggled a lot in school and was diagnosed later in her life.
It’s a tricky place to be. It you don’t have ADHD, it also doesn’t mean that your struggles are invalid. Changing the cause doesn’t mean there isn’t a barrier in your way, you just might not know exactly what it is, and not knowing can make it hard to figure out a way around.
Asking questions and thinking about your needs like you are doing is so important, I hope you are able to find some things that feel helpful for you. ❤️
