Uni stress and the feeling of falling behind
Hey guys,
I was 21 when I was first diagnosed with ADHD and now I'm 23. I study Pharmacy and despite it being 4 years since I've started, I'm nowhere close to graduating. I've got 3 exams left until my first state exam (I study in Germany) and I'm on my 3rd try out of 4 for two of these exams. If I failed the 4th try I'd be kicked out and I'd have no chance of continuing pharmacy in Germany.
I've always struggled with studying and life in general and I know that studying in my 3rd language is a challenge on its own and I know that I should feel bad for being so slow but I feel so stuck and so demotivated and just terrified of these exams. The goal is right there. I'm so close yet so so far.
I just want to know if I'm stupid or something. Is it normal for me to take this long and to struggle this much even after taking ADHD meds? How can I stay motivated and how can I overcome this fear of starting? I feel like I'm going to fail anyways despite how hard I try.
Thank you for your time <3
@affableBeing8621 Hey! First, I want to say that you’re not stupid—it's completely normal to struggle, especially with the challenges you’re facing. Studying in a third language and managing ADHD can be tough, and it's okay to take your time. Everyone's journey is different, and you’re doing your best.
Hello! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me and I apologise for the late reply! I've been trying to slowly get back into studying by not just breaking it up into smaller tasks but also including chores/hobbies into my daily routine so that I'm not completely consumed by it. It has helped me get over my anxiety but I keep getting thoughts on how unproductive I am and how I'm not moving forward in terms of how many topics I've covered. I'm trying to ignore these thoughts and push onwards but sometimes it gets overwhelming like today for example. I've decided to instead take a walk and will now start crocheting my friends birthday gift that is a month late :')
@affableBeing8621
Sorry to hear you are struggling with your studies. The pressure is real in Uni especially when you have ADHD as well. I have come to learn that we are heavily interest led people. It is pretty crucial for us to pick a profession that we very drawn to and feel passion for, otherwise we can quickly lose interest.
If I may ask, and I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries here, but do you feel like a career in the pharmaceutical industry is really for you? I realize you have already committed four years to learning pharmacy and to put it aside now would feel like a step backwards. But if you are finding it is becoming an uphill battle maybe it’s a sign it may not be the right profession. I am just thinking out loud here but just something to think about.
Hello! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I've always been interested in science and have grown to be attached to anything pharmacy related especially the chemistry part of it. I'm grateful to have this opportunity to learn more about my interests in a much deeper level but I think a lot of it has to do with how the course is taught/structured here. I feel pressured to finish faster (also due to visa reasons as I am an international student) and that I'm lesser than all the other students because they're able to finish the degree faster than me granted I live alone, study in my third language and struggle with my mental illness. That's 3x the number of hurdles a normal student here has to face and I really should be proud of myself for surviving this long but I'm not. To me this all feels like a must in order to survive and not a challenge that I need to be proud of. I have considered switching to pharmaceutical chemistry instead of a straight up pharmacy degree and I have a friend who did that. I have yet to talk to her about it. If I fail my upcoming exams and reach my last try I think I might take that alternative path.
@affableBeing8621
I am glad a career in Pharmacy excites you. I couldn't imagine having to study in my third language; that adds another layer of difficulty in conjunction with your ADHD. Given the circumstances, what you have accomplished already is really impressive, so well done, I congratulate you and can see the effort and work you have put in this far. I agree that how well a class is structured and how well you receive the teacher can make all the difference in someone's success.
I am rooting for you to pass your upcoming exams. I find visualizations work well in my life when I am trying to accomplish something big. See yourself holding the positive results of passing your exams and all the wonderful feelings and experiences that would follow that. It sounds a bit silly maybe but I have the technique of visualization countless times in my life and it has proven to work. You got this!
