Always worried I'm doing something wrong or someone hates me
I need helping with anxious attachment/fear of abandonment. Also how how to learn emotional regulation before panic spirals. How to use better communication skills for relationships. And finally building self-worth outside of reassurance from my partner.
I'm a mess, but want to be better. I never ask for help, so this me reaching out.
@practicalSkies2632 Hi friend. I’m so glad you had the courage to reach out and ask for help! I know how exhausting it is to live in a constant state of anxiety, fear, and panic. I also know how difficult it can be to communicate these feelings in a way that respects both the other person and yourself. I’ve struggled with every single thing you mentioned, and there have been two things that have really helped.
I think it's good you're reaching out and trying to improve, we're all flawed in some ways.
Maybe if you start regularly checking in with yourself before you get overwhelmed, it might benefit, like as the day starts, look at your schedule, this that and the other need to get done, are you feeling calm, overwhelmed, challenged...
Then you can see how you can organise things so that, everything get's done. Some might jot down notes to calm their mind.
As for communicating, perhaps you can set a specific time each day or week and sit down together and talk about any issues, or generally what's on your mind and that way you can clear the ear, and both be heard and supported.
Self worth, well, all these things take time. Try to focus on your positives, reinforce that feeling of pride when something goes well, I did a great job with that..
And when something goes badly, instead of beating yourself up. Say something like, wow, that was really tough and I didn't quite there but I'm trying and I have it in me..
Re-train your brain so it's kinder :)
What you are feeling is identical to how I am feeling. For me I know where it's coming from and maybe how I got here , but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I did do some therapy a couple of years ago, but I keep falling into the same "loop".
If anyone wants to know some of my story I would be glad to share.
What you are feeling is identical to how I am feeling. For me I know where it's coming from and maybe how I got here , but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I did do some therapy a couple of years ago, but I keep falling into the same "loop".
If anyone wants to know some of my story I would be glad to share.
I think we evolved in tribes. We naturally need older members. An older friend who you can talk to hopefully you can find relatively easily. For a cuddle you might need to travel and pay.
It is good you all see the difficulty my mum grew up in different times and eventually did not love my dad as she could not express her needs. In the song air to night Phil colins sings how he expected her to cheat. He likely never opened up or pressed get when needed, likely contributing to what she did.
I think we evolved in tribes. We naturally need older members. An older friend who you can talk to hopefully you can find relatively easily. For a cuddle you might need to travel and pay.
It is good you all see the difficulty my mum grew up in different times and eventually did not love my dad as she could not express her needs. In the song air to night Phil colins sings how he expected her to cheat. He likely never opened up or pressed get when needed, likely contributing to what she did.