Anxieties about Life
I think I prefer my imagination over reality. In dreams I feel emotions without the danger. I'm comfortable, not distressed, my brain gets to "live" everything because my imagination is so strong. But Right now I think I need to put myself out there, get out of my head and be okay with life again. I was isolated for so long that I have a hard time talking with people. The "surprise" of everything throws me off and scares me, in a way, and I think that it's not "safe" and "predictable" like TV or books or the movies.
I need to talk to people but I'm afraid of them getting to know the real me. I'm afraid people will hate me and judge me. I'm afraid that I'm not as "skilled" or "practiced" as I think.
I want to shoot for my dream, and I've already sort of started preparing, but I'm so out of practice and I'm so scared of my dreams shattering in the worst way possible. Or worse, all the "plans" I made for my dreams will be pointless. Because of work, I spend more time "imagining" my dream than actually preparing for it. And I can't bring myself to actually work hard at it anymore. I hate feeling exhausted, and if I put in all the work, and my dreams fall through, then I'll have wasted all this time for nothing, and I know I'll be absolutely devastated. Like, have an emotional breakdown and just cry for days on end kind of devastated.
I'm not even sure why I'm putting this here. Maybe I'm hoping someone can say something that will cure me.
I understand your feeling because I feel that a lot too, the first step it’s the hardest
@Gabrielamtineo What do you do when you're unconsciously avoiding an emotional breakdown from reality? LOL
@HidaYasu
No but seriously... does anyone else have a mini panic attack when things don't play out the way you want in your head?
@HidaYasu
yeah, I have mini panic attacks at work whenever the result is not what I expected.
Whenever my heart is beating harder, I take a few deep breaths (not a lot because my head would start hurting.) I became use to the triggers at work because they happen a lot, but they still affect me afterwards.
I also have a fear of failing. I remind myself that I already failed big time that resulted in putting my life path in a different direction than what I wanted, but Im trying to get it back on the path that I want.
Hang in there with me, ok? There’s no back button, you can only hit play.
@politePeach9642
Oh dang, that's it... it's a fear of failure... that's why I practice in my head so much and why I panic when things go differently. It's not that I'm scared of other people, I'm afraid of not doing it perfectly and failing somehow.
@HidaYasu There is life and the model in our head. No one knows what will happen next in life. No one! Aspire to have your plans become reality, but do not count on all plans working. Maybe try to guide your imagination to what you want rather than to plans not working out. Spend less time in your head and more time doing the work necessary to reach your goals. Easier said than done some days…those days when we let our thoughts take over in fear. We all tend to make catastrophes in our head, so don’t fault yourself when this happens, just notice where you’re mind is taking you and switch to something else. Mindfulness meditation is helpful for this.
@hopefulPond6108
I get how meditation works for a lot of people but it never works for me I've tried all different kinds and I just come out more stressed
I feel the same way, dreams are a means of escape for me sometimes. Irl I cry every day at how hellish life is for me rn, but sleeping at least gives me a break. This post reminded me of an short film/storyboard called The Rendevous. Ill leave the link in case you're interested TW: Suicide, Escapism.
https://youtu.be/T9Ay8j_fkgk?si=X-BopCVPjaUwbywx
Godspeed mate
@LetTheLonelyBe
I think you're right. Dreams are basically a mental break because we forget reality for a little while and don't feel the stress/pain/etc from our daily lives. Maybe that's why I've been craving them, because idk how to shut my brain off while I'm awake lol.