Anxiety and overthinking.
Hi! I am 19. Been struggling with anxiety and overthinking since oct 2020 (diagnosis). This overthinking began in 2017 or 18 and has gradually reached peak stages. Medicines don't help much. Have been taking since 3 years. Meditation helps but works only for a while. I was a topper in my school upto 10th grade. Until this all started in I guess 8th grade? I am very demolished by how I ruined my brain and career by watching porn. Yes. You can see my other posts to help me better. Anyways, right now I am a college dropout just sitting at home. 😞😞😞
Hi @shubh2003 ☺️
First off, it takes a lot of courage to open up about what you're going through, so thank you for trusting me with your story. It sounds like you've been facing quite a challenging time since 2017, and I hear how tough it has been dealing with anxiety and overthinking. Remember, it's really important not to be too hard on yourself. Anxiety is a complex beast, and it's not something you can simply switch off, even with medication or meditation.
The journey through mental health challenges is often not a straight path, and it's okay that you haven't found a complete solution yet. It's also okay that your life has taken a different turn from your earlier academic successes. Your worth is not defined by your academic achievements or career path.
Regarding your concerns about the impact of watching porn, it's important to know that many people experience similar struggles. Seeking support for this, as you're doing, is a positive step. It's never too late to work towards understanding and managing any habits or behaviors you feel are impacting your life.
Being a college dropout does not determine your future success or your value as a person. Life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes taking a break is necessary to focus on our mental health. There's always a path forward, even if it's not the one you originally envisioned.
If you're comfortable, consider seeking out a therapist or counsellor who can provide you with personalised support and strategies. They can help you navigate these feelings and work on strategies that might be more effective for you. And remember, you are not alone in this. Many have walked similar paths and have found their way through it.
Take care of yourself and be gentle with your journey. You're doing the best you can, and that's enough.
Hi @jem7Cups
I cannot stop finding the cause as I said if it is caused by porn I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. If it is caused by toxic stress of studies that I took from 4th grade to 12th grade. Maybe I can forgive myself for that. As I said I didn't watch porn until in 8th grade vacation my friend gave me an app. I blame my two friends, mostly my parents for not looking out and giving me a personal phone. As I was only 14. From mid 14 to mid 19 they didn't notice even once. I had to confess and now I am in recovery. Anyways this is only one side. Other side is different. The toxic stress of studies. If you have time then you can see my last post which no one replied to :).
Also, I am seeing a psychiatrist since 3 years :). But I shouldn't have watched porn as a child.😭😭😭😭 Anyways. Lemme know what you think. Btw just keeping my grades here.
Overall grades and % during my schooling
B+ in LKG
A+ in UKG
A+ 82.38% in 1st grade.
A 70% in 2nd grade.
A2 84.5% in 3rd grade.
A2 89.88% in 4th grade.
A1 96.38% in 5th grade.
A1 98.38% in 6th grade.
A1 98.31% in 7th grade.
A1 98.25% in 8th grade. In 8th grade vacation porn was introduced😭😭😭😭.
A+ 91.57% in 9th grade. (Sharp decline😭)
A2 82.83% in 10th grade. (😭😭😭😭😭😭)
Mass promotion due to covid in 11th grade.
C2 60% in 12th grade. Career, life, mental and physical health ruined due to pmo.😭😭😭😭😭😭
Lemme know what is the cause😞😭