Anxiety and overthinking
Hi, lately I've found myself struggling more with this than before. I keep revisiting bad situations, mistakes I made, sad decisions I had to make, and either keep thinking of what I could have done differently, or try to justify my actions because of the way things were at the time, but somehow it feels like I'm kidding myself at the same time because maybe I don't want to admit that I made bad choices. I hoped I would forget things over time, or that they would at least matter less, but everything just piles up and grows instead of going away. Sometimes I think back on things that happened years ago, and it's frustrating that I can't let those go and live in the present. I have learned things from those experiences and strive to do better, but I still wish I could forget the specific scenarios.
I'm open to talking to others, at least on here. IRL I feel like I'd be a burden and a pain to listen to for moaning about my problems when others have their own stuff to deal with. I don't have many people to talk to IRL anyway, and somehow writing/texting about it is more comfortable than talking face to face. That might have to do with fear of judgement from family/friends, worrying that someone might agree that I'm the bad guy in all those past instances when it was never my intention to be hurtful or insensitive.
@MintMooncake
Hello MintMooncake,
I am sure many can relate to the things you have said. Looking back with hindsight can be self punishing, as it is something we cannot change and yet now can throw hypothetical solutions at. It is understandable that one might wish to try to justify courses of action we were unhappy with, especially if they intrude on our thoughts over and over. It is sad that rarely do our good choices and pleasing memories poke as insistently at our trail of thoughts as much as ones we are less happy about.
What you say about finding it easier to discuss things via writing/texting, and especially in this sort of forum rather than with friends or family, that very much resonates. It is still sad though that you do not feel you can broach these topics with your loved ones. You are not a burden. It is not a pain to listen to someone who is feeling distressed. We all make mistakes, and we all make choices we are end up not being satisfied with. I know it is easy to say 'try not to be so hard on yourself' when all that the brain seems to want to do is remind us of things we regret. If writing it out on 7cups helps, then it is a step in the right direction.
Wishing you peace of mind.
Thanks, I think loads of us would love a time machine to correct themselves. I also wish the good memories and thoughts would come around more often than the bad ones, somehow that's just the way it is, I feel I have to make a conscious effort to think of the good ones when the bad just come automatically.
I'm sure I could talk to my loved ones about it, and sometimes I do, at least with bigger issues. Still working on communicating the small stuff, I usually try to work it out for myself, as I know it's actually not that big of a deal as long as I try to learn from it.
Reading kind replies on here is also quite helpful :)
@MintMooncake
I think it is laudable that you strive to deal with what you perceive as small issues on your own, and take the positive outlook that they can be overcome. I hope you do not feel you have to trivialise them though, a victory is a victory no matter the size, and a problem is a challenge no matter how low the bar is set.
It gives a nice sense of warmth to hear that reading the kind replies of others gives you a lift, so i wish you ongoing success. Go team you!
