Been trying
I've spent years trying to be social and make new friends, but my struggles with socializing and maintaining relationships and conversations often leave me feeling depressed, which only drives me to isolate myself further. I'm not suicidal or anything like that, just exhausted from being alone. I've numbed myself to the point where it doesn't bother me as much anymore, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel out of place, like an outsider. I’m 25, never had a relationship, and I’m at a loss for what to do. It feels like accepting loneliness is the only option left.
Hello. Life has been hard for you. I see you mentioned you've struggled socializing for years. Can you elaborate on your struggles with socializing and maintaining friendships?
It sounds like you crave for friendships but socializing leave you feeling depressed. I see that you have put in a lot of effort and that's very admirable. You deserve a pat on your shoulder. Only 25 years so it means you still have a long way to go, I can't imagine you thinking you are fated to be lonely. It doesn't have to be an ultimatum. It sounds like you are not happy when you are lonely either. I sense there's something deeper that needs to be addressed, do you think seeing a therapist to work things through would be an option for you? I really hope you will persevere on though.
I also didnt mention im fine with just having one/two good friends, which I do have one, but he’s a lot like me, allways inside playing gsmes, which is driving me insane, i’ve even started distancing myself from him a bit because I don’t want to stay stuck like this; I want to go out and be more social.
I have trouble relating to others, especially in social gatherings where people mostly talk about others I don’t know or share stories from their past that I can’t connect with. It makes it tough for me to jump in. I’m also pretty awkward around women, which doesn’t help, especially since everyone around me seems to be dating which stops me from going out with them. I feel like my awkwardness with women is a big part of the problem.
I’ve thought about therapy but haven’t gotten around to it yet. I’m planning to give it a shot, but from what I’ve read and been told, I just need to put myself out there, risk making mistakes, and learn to socialize that way. The problem is, when i do go out I end up staying quiet for hours at a social gathering, I don’t feel like I’m learning much and just feel bad for being so helpless.
There’s also the fact that people tend to disappear once they find a partner, leaving me on my own and making all the time I put into that friendship feel wasted (it takes me a while to get close to someone and rarely happens). So i guess in reality im looking for just that a life parthner, but as I get older, my lack of experience and struggle with small talk or joining/making conversations makes it even harder to connecting with women who are surrounded by confident, outgoing men, the fact women never initate does not help, And the older I get, the more intimidating it becomes. But I guess I’ll try therapy.
Try microdosing. It may allow you to open up socially and inhibit some of the social anxiety. It decreases blood flow to your amygdala which is part of your fight or flight response, this in turn decreases stress and anxiety and allows you to feel more calm and open.
I will give this a shot again, as i had tried it before. even big doses but does not seem to open me up at all. Same with alchol which should make you confident and careless but it makes me more quiet.
