Chronic Indecisiveness
Hello,
I’m approaching a deadline to choose between staying in my current job or going to university to pursue a career in psychotherapy, which has been my dream for about 10 years now.
I grew up without much guidance, so I felt as though I was never worthy of university. I had no idea what I wanted to do, and ultimately decided to choose a safer path where I felt I could get a decent job and that’s about all there was to it.
The plan worked. I’m very grateful to be employed, to me this is the ideal “job” as in stable, consistent, and comfortable. The problem is I have no direction here, and it prevents me from committing in other areas of my life (relationships, moving out, etc.). I’m really not a “work to make money to live outside of work” kind of guy, I am deeply connected to the idea of growing in a career you really feel connected to.
With the role of psychotherapist, I see myself striving to be the best I can be, growing in character traits that come naturally to me (empathy, patience, non-judgement), and I love making space for people to talk about what their REALLY going through. I see a future here, but the process feels so damn scary, considering I’m 5-6 years away from work that probably pays less than I make now.
What do you guys think? Do you resonate? Do you think I’d be foolish to leave comfort or do you think it’s important to take these chances in life.
Appreciate it.
@JonLiv
I hear what you are saying about approaching your deadline. You may not have had any guidance in the past, but you do a good job in evaluating your current situation. You currently have the perfect-safe job, but are afraid that you will become stagnant. Your dream job of being a Psychotherapist would fulfill your passions. If you peruse the Psychotherapist role, you loose the security and the money that you presently enjoy. Is this solely a matter of passion versus money? I do not know what the relationship of money is to your lifestyle. Having a career whereas you can grow and make a difference has significance. Good luck on this one; only you can decide what is best for you.
Hi @JonLiv :)
Firstly I just wanted to say how inspiring your post was! Regardless of the outcome of your decision I believe you've shown fantastic courage and self awareness to consider changing your life in this way 🥰
I'm really happy that choosing comfort worked out well for you - up til this point at least. It shows that you're very capable of making solid choices for yourself despite not having many role models to teach you those skills.
I too hear the calling of a career that will fill my cup and it's hard to know if it's worth the risk of leaving the familiar (and good-ish) for something else. I don't know you very well or the many circumstances that can influence a decision like this but I will share with you some things I do when I find myself struggling with a decision. Maybe they'll help you too :)
🌟 It sounds morbid but I think of myself in old age, telling someone my life story and I take notice of how it feels to relate the story with option a and then b
✨ I think of myself on a desert island - happy and safe but no-one else around to take notice of what I'm doing. Would I be bothered about this decision? Would I still have this desire for something new if no-one could see my achievements or does it fade into nothingness?
🌟 I think of my core values and see which option aligns more closely with them
✨ I weigh up the risks of doing the thing versus not doing the thing. Then I try and see which ones I can mitigate or lessen. The ones I'm left with - I decide which of those outcomes are easiest to live with
I hope that helps a little JonLiv, for what it's worth, I believe you've shown some excellent characteristics of a 'helper' in this very post.
Take care,
🌟 Joy 🌟