Chronic Pain and Anxiety

Hi this is a bit of a rant. Ihaven't found many topics where other people were discussing this. on a diagnostic level , I have general anxiety. But I also have anticipatory and health anxiety.

A few years ago I stumbled upon chronic pain. I saw all of the doctors all of the specialists. I had all of the scans. I tried all of the medications. I advocated for myself.

Despite all of this , my body continued to get worse. I absolutely don't feel like the same person I used to be.Because i'm not. My pain can be sharp or it can be dull. It can feel like a blade or a hot stove. My nerves, muscle, entire body perceives a threat that is not there. It's different from the threat that we feel with anxiety. This one causes the body to be in a constant state of tightness to the point where it permanently affects the muscles and everything you do hurts. Every movement hurts.

At this point in the game , people usually find some kind of relief. I haven't found a single bit of relief. I continue to go to physical therapy. I continue to see a therapist. My body continues to get worse every single day.No matter how hard I work on it.

Adding to that feeling like this and the uncertainty and the flare ups and the problems that come about... having health anxiety makes you feel that things are worse than they are.And you jump to the worst case scenario. With chronic pain that is amplified.

Not only have I Begun to\n Make my safe place, my home and fear, going outside of it. But I don't even feel comfortable going to a friend's house for more than an hour or so.. the same thing with my parents place. If certainly become worse and can no longer fly/travel easily. What if I have a flare up?What if I have to go to the hospital?What if things get really bad? I'm too far away from my safe space.

All of this to say... i'm tired of having an over sensitized body where i'm doing everything right and everything keeps going wrong and just getting worse.