College anxiety
I feel extremely anxious, tomorrow I start university and I feel terribly bad. My only friend from the university told me a few days ago that he had decided not to register two subjects and that he had not wanted to say anything to me so that I would not cancel subjects with him. Since that day I have been thinking about many things. Being alone in these matters makes me too panicky without feeling accompanied, because I am terribly nervous and when I am surrounded by people I feel like I am going to vomit, I start to shake, my heart beats a thousand times and I I get extremely clumsy, which makes me want to escape and leave. And the worst thing is that my university is so small, that I always study with the same ones and there they have me labeled as the weird one, because I am quiet and when I socialize I stutter and say stupid things, but nobody knows the panic that I keep inside. I'm just praying it's not tomorrow, I feel like I'm not going to make it through this.
@Laura345 Hello! I have struggled with the same thing, I started college (or 6th form) last year as an adult learner. I didn't know anyone on the course and it was a small group, so all my classes were with them. I was scared they would label me the weird quiet one. (All the other students were also adult learners.)
People are a lot less judgemental than you think, chances are there are quite a few people at your uni who are in a similar situation. I would say to find someone who is sitting alone, who looks nervous, and try to make conversation. That's how I made my first friend at college. And if there's no one else who is sitting alone, find a small group and ask if you can hang out with them, chances are they're really nice and will welcome you with open arms.
Also, I know you feel like people have already decided they don't like you, but try challenging your thoughts! It really helped me with my anxiety. Thoughts and feelings are not fact, and while you may feel like everyone is staring at you with judging eyes, chances are they feel like the whole room is scrutinising them too. People tend to be very accepting, and you'll be studying the same course as them, so right off the bat you have a common interest! Give people a chance, they're most likely more than willing to give you one.
Hope this helps!
As I had said before, my university is very small and I have been studying since the first semester with the same people, and since the first semester I have had my usual behavior that I am a little too shy and very introverted because the truth is that it is very difficult for me to interact with other people, so they sometimes notice my behavior that I'm a little nervous, that I'm a little quiet, that I'm a little clumsy, because they really notice and it's like they already labeled me like that, even once we were in a class and there were groups and they randomly chose the groups and a classmate said oh and I got the weirdo, who was the weirdo well the weirdo was me because the teacher had said it was my turn, and I literally felt bad I got home crying, and in addition to the fact that I am from another region of my country, they are also a little xenophobic and it is very uncomfortable, I feel horrible. I literally only have that one friend who was with me every semester and when he said that to me, I felt super bad and now it makes me very nervous knowing that I have to be alone with people who make me more anxious than I already am.
@Laura345 Hiya, I'm so sorry I misunderstood your original post x
I understand that this situation can be really uncomfortable, and while the people in your class may feel that you are strange or odd, I very much doubt that you are a weirdo"
@Reesenotgeese sorry I'm posting on mobile and didn't finish that before I accidentally hit 'post'. What I was saying is that I doubt you are truly 'weird', every person has differences and sometimes experiencing anxiety can make those feelings of being different more pronounced. It was so unkind of your classmate to say that about you, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I wish that I could provide you with more advice, but just know that although the world may feel small, it is so much bigger than just the classroom, and in your life you are going to meet a lot of wonderful people who accept and love you for you. You are so much stronger than you think you are, you are wonderful and I hope you can find a way to cope with this.
Sorry I couldn't be more help, friend x
Thank you so much, seriously these words make me feel better, and I wish I could find a way to survive this, thank you for answering my post.
