Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Communicating Axious Attachment

User Profile: FixWithGold
FixWithGold November 21st, 2023

I strongly feel I have an anxious attachment style. It’s something I’ve researched for awhile and everything just matches up. But right now I’ve been talking to a guy for a good month. And I care about him sm already. He’s said ily first and he tries to be understanding. I’ve just felt selfish since I haven’t come out about my abandonment issues /anxious attachment. I plan on doing it when we both have the free time and are in a good mood. I just need help wording it in a way where it doesn’t feel like I’m pressuring him. I do have a draft text (please give constructive criticism) and if it doesn’t seem worded well I would appreciate way to do it correctly 🙏🏻

“So I really struggle with bad attachment and abandonment issues, it's kinda been something I've struggled with for forever and I've felt so bad not bringing it up to you, it feels selfish not letting you know what you're getting into with me feels even worse that I took this long to even say it. And I'm not bringing this up to tell you that you have to validate the issues cause its not your job to, sure I apprieciate long conversations, but it's not your job to respond to me within second just because it makes me feel better. I am trying to get them sorted out which was another reason I was so excited to get therapy cause i don't want to put that stress onto you. thats not right and you dont deserve that. I care about you, you deserve so much and i hope this information doesnt effect what we have now.”

4
November 21st, 2023

@FixWithGold How about working with your therapist on how to discuss this with your partner? I have a feeling your therapist might give you better advice on how to communicate this with your partner. 

3 replies
User Profile: FixWithGold
FixWithGold OP November 21st, 2023

Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately I haven’t started therapy yet, and this is something I wanted to get out of the way quick since I want him to know before sooner than later

2 replies
November 21st, 2023

@FixWithGold Do you think there might be possible disadvantages to “getting it over quick” as you say?

1 reply
User Profile: FixWithGold
FixWithGold OP November 21st, 2023

I don’t think so? The worst that could happen imo is him not being able to handle that about me and drop me. But as much as I don’t want that happening I it’ll lmk that he isn’t the right guy.

load more
load more
load more