Confusion

I’ve had a lot of panic attacks lately, sometimes without any reason. I’ve started to cut myself again and now it’s just this constant anxiety that someone finds out. I always hear these sounds that aren’t even there. I hear my name even though I’m home alone, I hear the door to my room open, even though no one is there. I have trouble breathing and don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is a complete mess that can’t be cleaned up. It’s like every wall inside of my head is covered with mold, like the windows are black, there’s no light and there are flies everywhere. I am overwhelmed with emotion but at the same time it feels like there’s nothing at all. It’s either that huge mess or just emptiness. Sometimes both at the same time. I have no idea how to deal with this. It’s confusing and it scares me.