Fear of uncertainty? Something feels off

So it started around 2-3 months ago when I got too aware of my eye contact and it made me awkward with friends and just everybody. Since then, I noticed that I'm not in control anymore, it just feels too unsafe. And I tried to regain the control I once had by rereading an ACT book and tried doing things "in the right way" because it seemed like there is just a little bit and I will understand it all. I tried writing down what's going on in my head; it was really hard to think, something just constantly got in the way; it gave me clarity for a moment and I felt like "its all finally fixed again" and the next day everything returned. I also tried talking to ai and to explain everything to it, but its just the same. Everything just feels pointless and I hate this state. I know there is a reason behind my seek for control, its most likely that I was bullied when I didn't have it. Hopefully I wrote down everything. I just need someone to see this from another point of view