Finding cause of my severe anxiety and depression and excessive overthinking. Help!!!!

I was a pretty decent kid. I followed my parent’s instructions when I was small. I was good in studies. I started playing guitar since I was in 4th grade. By 5th standard I had become a topper. Usually 1st or 2nd or 3rd upto 9th grade. One tuition I had joined in 6th, 7th grade. That teacher used to traumetize mentally a lot by conducting daily tests. Yes, daily!I had headaches and heart beating fast due to that and by end of 7th grade my body also became thin due to his trauma. In the start of 8th grade I left his tuition. Didn’t join tuition until 10th grade. Alongside, my guitar skills grew I had purchased 2 acoustic guitars and one electric by 2017. Also performed in school. Once we held a concert of our own in 2017 the music academy where I learnt. I performed 4 to 5 songs in that. Also have a small YouTube channel. Everything was decent and smooth until in 8th grade vacation (around April 2018) (age 14) my friend gave me an app of movies, tv shows and live tv. In that live tv section there was adult zone. I clicked on it. Are you sure you are 18 years or older? Of, course all kids except some God gifted ones who know harmful effects of porn, would tap yes. Watched innocently a girl with clothes doing something I didn’t realise. Then after 5 mins, stripping, after 20 mins, whole body naked. Honestly, this first time was a *** FOR ME. TRAUMA! But at the same time my brain was filled with too much dopamine. Then after some days out of curiosity started again one video it was purely hardcore so had to stop right after 5 or 10 secs. I didn’t know like what is this? Then I started searching on the internet about deadpool sex scenes and all. Playing the soft porn game. By December, 2018 I had developed some overthinking and anxiety already. In January, discovered M and started doing it to fifty shades scenes, orange is the new black, etc. typically the Netflix and Amazon prime series as I had subscribed to them. Then got from there to porn websites once that had reached the end. I did almost daily and in compulsion due to porn. In 9th grade teachers asked like “Having any tension” and “Don’t worry” and all. Still in 9th grade by making my best got 2nd rank somehow. In 10th, the effects of pmo that I had done during the last 1 and half years started to show. There was too much overthinking and anxiety. In 10th I couldn’t do daily as I went to tuitions also. By end of 10th completely depressed and in anxiety. Had to start medicines in oct, 2020 in 11th grade. Also in 11th I had 2 sessions on call with a psychologist also. Conclusion of second session was that she called my father and said he is not following anyone's instructions, he does what he pleases. Does he watch porn. My father replied my kid isn't like that and then no sessions. I was struggling to find a cause for anxiety and depression and overthinking. Like why did this happen to me at all? 11th and 12th are crucial years for studies but I couldn’t study due to severe anxiety and depression. Then joined a silly little college. Got bored and anxious and left it because I wanted to go to another good college. But the problem was mostly exams, fear of them. Here we are on a break😞

Overall grades and % during my schooling

B+ in LKG

A+ in UKG

A+ 82.38% in 1st grade.

A 70% in 2nd grade.

A2 84.5% in 3rd grade.

A2 89.88% in 4th grade.

A1 96.38% in 5th grade.

A1 98.38% in 6th grade.

A1 98.31% in 7th grade.

A1 98.25% in 8th grade. In 8th grade vacation porn was introduced😭😭😭😭.

A+ 91.57% in 9th grade. (Sharp decline😭)

A2 82.83% in 10th grade. (😭😭😭😭😭😭)

Mass promotion due to covid in 11th grade.

C2 60% in 12th grade. Career, life, mental and physical health ruined due to pmo.😭😭😭😭😭😭

Had porn not came or mobile not came or had parents found out about my porn use at 14 itself!!!! I would have been grateful. :(

Had I not left tuitions in 8th, 9th. I wouldn't have been like this :(.

Porn is a buffer that we choose to avoid negative emotions. In my case, I told you all my whole story. I wanna know why I used from 14-19 (currently 19). As a child 14-18. I think toxic stress of studies? Anxiety of studies? Stress of getting first rank even thiugh got 2nd in class? Please help. I wanna know why I used it. Not using now.

My parents failed to protect me as a child from internet horrific porn. I was traumetized to see. Didn't know why I did it anyway.😭 Point is they protected me from everything. Cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, pubg game etc. But they didn't know porn was an issue. In 5 years they didn't notice even once! I had to tell them that I suffer from this.

I watched porn by myself out if curiosity when 14 and continued later upto now 19. I was traumetized.😭 I can recall I was bullied a lot as a child. In kingergarden, by 2 girls!!!! A fat boy in early 1st or 2nd grade. Then in 3rd or 4th grade by one boy. A lot until 14 but all that was handled by my elder brother but as soon as he went to college to another city, I became a teen. As a teen, I was sexually harassed by one gay boy. He took off my trousers without my permission in 9th grade in washroom, watched my private part while I was in washroom and harassed me by talking and all. He grabbed my hand and bullied me. One other boy bullied me a lot in that same 9th grade. In 10th and 12th grade another boy bullied me.

I wanna know why I continued to watch porn even when it was traumetizing for me but still I did pmo.😭

I didn't start watching porn fully when I was not passed 8th grade.

At the end of 8th grade, in exam, there were already symptoms of anxiety and nausea and ibs.

After 8th grade exam. In vacation I started watching porn.

Pls tell me whether it is caused by toxic stress and or or pmo only? As I said I didn't start watching porn until 8th grade vacation. I took toxic stress from 4th std to 12th std about studies. I can forgive myself for stress but not pmo. Now I am understanding why I am so inclined.