I don't know if it's only anxiety

Well it's my first time to share something in general, I've been suffering over 2 years now , I used to be an extrovert person , now I'm in the worst shape of me , I started to avoid any gathering or talking to strangers and I don't know even what I'm afraid of, I met a person 3 years ago and we decided to get married, then we did but he travelled back to his country then COVID happened , later he changed his mind about the marriage life then disappeared, I lived with "shame" according to my local traditions , can't get my divorce till now , I went to a far city not just to work but to be able to think for a solution, I'm a little bit control freak person but the manager way as i do everything by myself, taking my own responsibilities never ask for help , after more than a year of struggling I shared the story with my family , they were supportive but I can't get back to myself, I'm avoiding people almost crying every night , want to start new job but I can't, can't organise my thoughts can't think positively, I met another person and I love him so much but I'm training my mind of the idea that he can leave me anytime and getting ready for it , there's a war inside my head and I can't control it, can't find any peace, lost my spark , when something happy going on, I always now searching for the dark side of it , finally I admit that I need help , I need someone to tell me how should I get over all this and what the name of my condition