I feel I lost a friend
Hi everyone, there's a situation that's been bothering me. I have a friend of several years, we were roommates and now we're at the point where someone he met today is a better friend than me. I've always supported, cared for and defended him... But he has an attitude of treating his other friends better, ignoring me and replacing me with them. We barely talk and the few times he reaches out, it's to get a rise out of me. Today I talked to him and asked him if he no longer likes me. I told him that he can be honest with me, that if he explains what's going on, I'll understand, but that the friendship feels forced and he's not someone who makes anyone feel that way. And his response was 'If you feel like it's not reciprocal, then there's something wrong there and you don't have to put up with me.' His words made me feel like I'm devaluing everything, that it's easy for him to get rid of me, like I'm nothing. I cried and my anxiety spiked to the point where I couldn't concentrate on anything
@PerlaRosa
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Losing a friendship especially one you’ve invested so much time, care, and love into hurts in a way that’s hard to explain. It’s like grieving someone who’s still there but isn’t choosing you anymore.
The way he responded was cold and dismissive, and I can understand why it cut so deep. You opened up, made yourself vulnerable, and gave him the space to be honest with you but instead of reassuring you or explaining, he made it seem like you were the problem for even asking. That’s not fair to you. That’s not how a real friend should make you feel.
I know it’s painful, and I know it’s hard not to take this personally, but please remember: His behavior is about him, not about your worth. You didn’t do anything wrong by caring. You didn’t do anything wrong by wanting clarity. And you definitely didn’t do anything wrong by expecting to be treated with the same respect and kindness you’ve given him.
Right now, I just want you to be kind to yourself. Let yourself grieve this friendship if you need to. Cry if you have to. But also remind yourself that you deserve friends who make you feel valued, not like an afterthought. You deserve people who are excited to have you in their life, not ones who make you feel like you have to fight for a spot in theirs.
You are not nothing. You are someone who loves deeply, who cares, who gives, and who deserves that same energy in return. And one day, you’ll have friendships that reflect that. You’re not alone in this. I'm here, and I believe in you.
Thanks for your insight, it really helped me feel better. I think it's best if I just cut ties completely. He's not willing to accept that he's moved on from our friendship, and I'm just stuck in the past. To be honest, it's causing me more anxiety to try to hold on than to just let go, and that's just not okay
@PerlaRosa
U did keep that bond genuinely that's why it's crushing ur soul but it's time to choose yourself now so don't feel bad or anything about past... accept yourself that you're kind and you deserve happiness ☺️
