I hate myself.

I hate myself. I was given a great family. A good father, mother and brother. I was given a great mind, good in studies and good in music (am a guitarist). But since 14 years age I got onto the wrong way of po*n and did a self-destructive behavior. Now at 19, no wonder why I suffer so much. It was traumetizing for me to watch po*n. I don't know what is wrong with this world. There's lots of bad everywhere in this world. Wish I had controlled myself upto 18 then my career, mental and physical health would have been good. And my family would have been happy. Had I known po*n was causing so much harm I would have stopped right at 14! Instead stuck here with severe anxiety and overthinking.😭