Maybe being hopeful is not that good

feeling soo stuck with my emotions lately. Now, planning to reduce my phone's screen time as low as possible. Such a curse to be forced to let go of the positive thoughts so that the fear of getting hurt can be lightened. Such a curse to think about all the worst case scenarios just to make the feeling of left alone relatable when something bad happens actually happens, when people you were worried about changing actually change. Such a curse to not be able to see good in anyone, because you are cynical and see world from a broken lens.