Mental illness, cultural differences, and iscolation with my partner.

Im traveling with my wife to their hometown in china. for context we are a lesbian relationship however they present as male but are nonbinary. long story short im having a hard time here so far. i dont know chinese very well aside from my small knowledge of the language its hard to communicate with their parents. i feel isolated bc they often direct conversations at their parents and leave me out. i know its my responsibility to learn the language but im still really struggling.

Also, im on anxiety, bipolar and adhd meds. because of chinas laws i was unable to confirm if they were legal to bring into the country, so i dont risk it and i left them in america after trying to ween myself off them.

so i havent been myself.

Then today something happened. my partner and i were planning to go and visit their childhood friend. he’s a man. my partner had already been saying things like, “careful he will be attracted to you because hes male.”

and also warned me about wearing shirts that exposed my *** because in america i really like to show cleavage i just got comfortable with my body recently.

i was fine with this actually, i didn’t show any cleavage since ive been here. i can respect cultural differences.

But today i was wearing a new shirt my partner bought me. I had it one button too low so my partner told me to button up. i said ok i understand and did so.

They looked at my fixed shirt and said “i can still see your cleavage”

i looked down and said no you cant.

they said “you will make him *** thats what will happen, people here aren’t used to seeing ***”

that *** me off because why are you blaming me for a hypothetical situation where your childhood friend gets *** because i’m “showing my ***”?

I said okay.. and thought about the situation first bc i didn’t want to go off on them. then i realized how weird it was that they said that.

i said “ i dont like the way youre talking to me.”

they retorted “its true youll make him *** im just warning you.”

later we walked to the train station to see the friend and in the elevator down i asked whats wrong to my partner. they were mad at me for saying i didnt like how they were talking to me.

long story short they called me crazy and said everything bothers me, i got mad and said take me home because now i was crying and didnt want to see their friend.

later they apologized but said it i a way that minimized my feelings and boiled it down to me being bipolar.

“i hope youll be less crazy next time” was the last word we had of the conversation, which was brought up hours later by them after we were intimate together. i said “fine.” and rolled over in bed.

i cried the rest of the day and they were really distant from me. not starting normal conversations. treating me like i was a child and basically putting me in timeout.

because im the mentally ill one all my requests about them get lumped into a giant pile of unnecessary demands they see as part of my mental health struggle.

i asked if they were tired of me and they said they wished they were treated more fairly by me. this hurt because my mental health is already a struggle and i dont like when it affects other people. i feel tired of me too.