Need advise
Due to crippling mental health issues/social anxiety mixed with emotional abuse and financial struggles ive been the outsider of the group since junior high. I let it all pass out of fear in school, and graduated without having spoken to anyone from my class apart from my two friends( excluding group projects and stuff of that sort). I promised myself once i start uni i wont repeat the same mistake but covid happened and i kind of failed with befriending my course for one reason or another. Made only two friends once again and stuck with them til my now last year. Thing is, in the beginning they were just as socially anxious as me but overtime managed to work through it and got involved with others but i couldnt. Not only that, my anxiety made me even more avoidant to the point that now everyone thinks i either hate or dislike them. Needless to say my relationship with my two friends suffered so much ( because i couldnt keep up, was pulling them behind and even unintentionally hurting them amidst all that) that we have almost ended it at this point ( decided that unless i got better we couldnt rekindle our old friendship). I dont know what to do. I realise its too late to fix things with my collegues as its been almost four years and we are graduating this school year. I cant think of a way to even try. Without my friends now it will be even harder and , quite frankly, not sure if it will be received well after all this time. Do i apologise in the gc collectively? Do i approach them one by one and apologise? Do i just let the ship sail and make peace with the fact i let my mental health issues ruin everything yet another time? I seriously want to get better because social anxiety has ruined me more than anything has. Id really appreciate some insight/advice.
@randompotato02 It sounds like you’ve been through an incredibly challenging journey, and I can feel how much you care about making things right and improving your mental well-being. Social anxiety can be so overwhelming, and it’s understandable how it’s impacted your relationships and experiences.