Selective mutism
Hi! I have selective mutism and it makes it harder to communicate, make friends or get along with my family. I know it sounds crazy, but my family liked to escalate things, so when I completely shut down or go nonverbal, they get offended by it. And they think I'm ignoring them, but I'm not trying to. I'm scared to make friends because I don't want them to stop being friends with me or get tired of me. Usually when I go nonverbal, I can't speak at all, I'll push words out for the sake of responding but I get lectured for that too but when I force myself to speak, it feels terrible.
It's not crazy. It's a coping mechanism that works for you.
If you're really feeling pressured to speak and don't really want too, perhaps a notepad would help and you can jot down brief answers and show it? Not ideal but it's a thought..
Think of it this way, we all have imperfections about us. The right people will see past this, they will welcome you and be patient.
You'll communicate when you are ready. I'm not a big talker myself.
