Social anxiety
Hello people, have you ever feel like you can easily talk to people even if you don't know them but in front of some people you just freeze ? You can't even say hello, you're stuck. Your voice cracks, your heartbeat goes quicker and your cheeks become red ? Well that happened to me last week end. So embarrassing. One of those moments happened also in front of my crush. I'm trying to reunite all my strength to actually say hello to him next time and to the other people and also tell them my name as I'm sure some of them don't even know it.
How do you get strong enough to be that confident ? How do you value yourself enough to be like you belong with those people and it's normal to greet them and talk to them without panicking ?
I hope we can all feel confident enough to be at ease around people and make our lives easier 🙏🏻🙏🏻
@Margaux03 I wasn't a big talker, I much prefer 1 to 1 conversations. Beforehand sometimes I would think of random general topics I was interested in and focus there.
I didn't really initiate chats but it was easier to join in with everyone else. I just think lots of people get nervous around others, they just hide it better..
Sometimes I have nervous laughter and just end up rambling, I guess the more you practice, maybe maybe the easier it may become..?
I'll take that thank you for your answer. Yes I'm thinking about practicing and also maybe learn how to control my voice and my breath. I do like 1-1 conversation it feels more intimate and not everyone is watching you. I am more scared to talk in groups because I fear what people could think of what I would say or ask. I fear to ask something dumb. But I am willing to practice and try again and again. That would ask big efforts but it's life changing.
@Margaux03 Happy to help and I guess another tip is.. Getting ahead of it by saying, This may sound silly but...
And if you're blushing, giggling or smiling as you say it, maybe that will kinda take the sting out of it, and others might think or say, Wow, I'm glad she asked that, I was wondering too, Gosh she's brave :)
This is a good topic. I overthink before social situations. Plus I tell myself how bad it will go. So anxiety and negative self talk make being social extremely difficult for me. I have found that coming up with a list of positive self affirmations and saying them out loud every day has been a big help. It helps me reprogram my mind. Here are a few examples:
I am allowed to be here as I truly am - no shrinking, no apologizing, no editing myself down to be more acceptable.
My voice and message are valuable and people want to hear what I have to say.
Thank you so much for your advices. I will try that as I actually think it could help. That's a nice way to feel comfortable 🙏🏻
@Margaux03
Hi there!
Thank you for sharing this. The feeling of freezing up in front of your crush or a group of people especially is something soo many people can relate to and it is understandably very frustrating. It's totally valid to feel embarrassed, but you should know that you are not alone. In every experience, there's someone else who understands at least 99% of how you feel.
It sounds really hard to feel that physical reaction, the entire heartbeat and voice crack details, and still want to continue and connect. This really shows a lot of courage, how you can muster up the strength for next time. The fact that you even have the willpower to say hello and introduce yourself is already a powerful step.
Your question about how to value yourself enough to feel like you belong is what this whole matter encircles. I am wondering what was different about the moments where you were put in situations where you have felt a bit more ease with talking to people. What was the reason you felt that ease?
I am rooting for you and totally support. I hope you can be kind to yourself and work through this.
Thank you so much. I don't really know why those moments happened it just comes and I totally freeze barely capable of breathing properly. I'm trying breath control excercices and self citations to myself. Yes I am trying my best to get through this as I'm sure it's life changing for everything such as work, social life, relationships...
I hope we can get ahead this really 🙏🏻