advice?
background: i get major anxiety showing my interests around my parents because i am scared of them judging me or taking it away as a punishment.
the last time i shared my music taste with my dad it ended horribly and now i am scared to share music taste with my family.
current issue: two of my favorite bands are performing at a music festival in may. i really want to go and id be willing to pay for the entire thing ($1500, if that’s relevant). the issue is that i have to ask my parents to go.
i made an entire presentation with all the info about the festival (location, pricing, the bands performing) but the idea of even presenting it to them is making me extremely anxious because of the thought of telling my parents about my favorite bands. the longer i wait though, the higher the price for the festival gets, which is also making me stressed.
ive tried presenting the slideshow to my friends to prepare for when i actually ask my parents, but i still feel really anxious about it. i havent mentioned anything about this to them yet but i want to do it asap before the prices go up.
any advice on how i might be able to overcome this and just ask? i think that doing so would be a really big step in overcoming a lot of my anxiety around this kinda stuff
(tl;dr) i want to go to a music fest but the thought of asking gives me anxiety
(im 15 btw)
@cadenssocks Hello, it is quite common that parents share different music tastes with us and I do not think it is because they do not like your music taste and then they decided to not let you go. I suggest you see this issue from your parent's perspective and find out what are their concerns and try to solve them during your presentation. So, based on that, you may want to address the safety issue (I guess you want to go to Coachella right) and how you are going to keep yourself safe while staying there and promise to message them every 2 hours so they know you are safe, etc. Secondly, I am not sure if the expense will be an issue here, so you may also want to address that (you will use your pocket money or ask your parents for that). Good luck!
@haileytang thank you!! its shaky knees music fest and i was planning on going with a parent so safety shouldnt be too much of an issue. honestly just reading this has made me feel a lot better abt the whole thing so ty :)
@cadenssocks,
hey! This sounds so exciting, I'm happy for you! You must be a big, passionate fan. Does music mean a lot to you, personally? It seems so and that's a beautiful thing to hone. It sounds like it impacts you emotionally when you mentioned how you've shared your music taste with them. Your parents are the biggest, most important figures in a person's life, so I understand why you would naturally feel judged harshly.
But, from their perspective, they think they are being the best they can be for you- safety-wise. The best thing you can do is to validate yourself, own what you claim, and speak from an adult point of view (ego) :) It's hard to get there mentally in validating yourself, believe me.
But that's when "fake it til you make it" really comes into play. Most of life is what you decide to make it, and the other portion is events that happen. Like, 90/10. Don't let your confidence and who you are rely on events, which could be other people validating your interests. Validate and own your own.
Show them the presentation! That is the best way to show your passion. Express that this is something you love, this is something you have expenses for because you are passionate about it. Tell them the impact it has made on you.
And meet them halfway. Allow for open communication, and send them an adult "message" saying "What are concerns you have.. what are some solutions we can come up with.." A solution might be going with a friend, being supervised, etc. This not only is in your best interest but also your parents'. You are not only allowing your voice to be heard but theirs too.
Try to meet them halfway through this and completely stand by what you want, don't back down :) You got this! You're already there. You just have to do the last part of it all.
@FireIntensity thank you so much for this!! :))) yes, music does mean a lot to me. what you said has helped give me some perspective and a bit more confidence on presenting to my parents, i think i’ll do it this weekend :)
