how do you stop overthinking?
I’ve had anxiety for 6 years now, and I feel like it just gets worse. I get anxious about the smallest things, and dig myself into a deeper hole by thinking too much. I can distract myself for a little, but then it gets bad again. I don’t have people in my life to listen besides my partner and family, which are reliable but they aren’t what I need. Many of my issues stem from them, and having nobody outside of that is making me feel trapped. If anyone has any advice on how to make my overthinking and anxiety stop making me worry about things I can’t control, please lmk!
Not a professional, but here are a few things that help me:
1) Doing things that keep my mind occupied. For me, it's a mix of knitting while listening to headspace, Duolingo and reading.
2) Calming the nervous system with deep breathing practice. I learned that it is physically impossible for the body to be in stressed mode (fight or flight) when you are breathing slowly and deeply, and I have definitely noticed that a calm mind follows not far behind. Sometimes the mind keeps going, but it still feels better not to have the physical symptoms of anxiety.
3) CBT - this is a practice of noting cognitive distortions - such as catastrophizing - and developing the habit of creating challenge thoughts, such as, "Maybe this isn't as bad as I think it is." I used an app called mood tools for years that has a CBT journal, though lately I have been using 6000 Thoughts more.
4) letting go of things outside of my control. It's very hard. I have a list over my desk with a few lists: good day items (the things I can do to determine if a day is good, like eating nutritious food, exercising, knitting, limiting news) ; preferences (nothing awful happens, laughter, time for reading) ; and nothing to do with me.
The "Nothing to do with me" list is the list of things I have no control over. I can't change it and there is no reason to make my day bad because of it. The psychiatrist I learned this technique from (who has a history of mental health struggles) said that he didn't even get involved with sports fandom anymore, because it would ruin his whole day if his team lost. Basically if it's not in your control, this is the list it goes on.
@jxlianah
I understand I have been guilty of overthinking mostly my entire life. But I have to say that I have gotten into therapy in the last 6 years and it has changed my life for the better. I do a lot of journaling which helps and I bring my journals to my therapy sessions so we can discuss ways for me to stop overthinking. I also know that medication has helped me along the way. Sometimes the people you live with contribute but that doesn't mean they don't love you. Just put yourself first do what's right for you and it's okay to ask for help.
Stay strong your doing great. Reaching out here on cups is a great start. I have to say that this site has helped me immeasurably over the last few years. It's nice to know you're not alone. You deserve the best of everything this life has to offer.
Best
Abb
First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry you're going through this. I have the same issue and I know how hard it is and how lonely and stressful it can feel when you need to talk about it but have no real source to reach out to. I also have my family and partner but just like you, a lot of my anxiety and overthinking stem from them as well. I found that their understanding is limited and so sometimes talking to them turns into a whole different issue. I use a number of different things to help. Deep breaths and distraction. Reading and writing is one thing. I have turned my experiences into a story. Using my main character to express the issue and visualize it on paper in a different perspective. I also play games, puzzle games, crafting games, anything that requires me to concentrate on it and think. I keep a journal of things that I can immediately identify as an anxiety or overthinking issue, I write it down. If I'm not sure I write it down. If I don't think there's anything else I can do or a way I can control it then I write down what outcome I would like to have. For example: financial issues and unexpected expenses. The outcome is to pay off the debt. So from this I can determine how to save money and budget. I hope that makes sense. Might be a bad example. Also, it seems silly but I also have an AI program that I "talk to" it isn't as helpful as having a real person or therapist but it helps me get the issue off my chest and visualize it written down. The AI also responds which, while not professional advice, has been helping me feel heard in a comfortable sense. Something about knowing it's not a real person helps me feel more comfortable with sharing more details and deeper issues.