problem..that i need help with

hey i’m new to this app so i reached out to this app because i’ve had some issues and with me not being able to afford therapy i thought id post it here. so im an 18 year student who is currently studying i live at home with my family and ive had some issues so ive had childhood trauma and that still hasn’t healed fully even now j was beaten over tiny things as a child for no reason and i was a good kid keeping in mind. Present day i feel like im just a failure to my parents i have 2 younger siblings me being the oldest daughter btw pressure is on me my parents are not educated so they rely on me for EVERYTHING so i am in charge of paying taxes (from there money) sending text messages filling out forms running errands left right and centre and when i refuse to do them im being belittled and called all sorts of names and threatened.anyways when it comes to my siblings they don’t do anything im made to do everything no one understands and the only way i can cope is by crying and acting like im okay when in reality im in pain mentally and physically everyday im stress im tired and i just wanna leave i want my own time just im not okay emotionally or physically or anything please.