someone help please.
Okay, so there's a friend i have that i have become VERY attached to over a few months, and they told me that they like someone a tiny bit in a romantic way. keep in mind that me and them flirt as friends all the time but i didnt know that she had feelings for someone?????? she says she feels more safe with me and that i will always come first, but i have gone so attached to her to the point that i was sobbing my eyes out because of the romantic attraction.. i dont know if i should tell her how i feel because that might ruin things?? but i also want to make sure that she knows of my feelings...
and i do have other friends besides her, and i am attached/jealous to them too at some extent. as well as pretty much everyone in my life.
i mainly need help on some advice for the friend im attached to, but also on how to not get attached/detach myself from people???? im just so tired.
Hello. You did a great job for being aware of your feelings and for wanting to improve. I hear you feel that you are too attached to your friends.
Let’s dive deeper. If we become too attached to our friends, how would they feel? They are likely to crave for more freedom. If your friends wants freedom, I recommend actively seeking to allow them more freedom and make the choice to let them live how they want and lower your expectations of your friends. It’s painful to detach because it’s instinctive to attach and then we get hurt easily okay? But we can overcome this.
I think you are a charismatic person so you have many friends. You are capable of making and maintaining friendships. You are amazing the way you are. I am sure your friends will still support you always. Also, you have made lots of friends and you can’t talk all of them all the time so what happens if your friends felt jealous? Your friends having their own friends/partners/supporters means that they are thriving well and have a good social circle. In that case, I think it’s a plus because they have a good social standing.
If you see your friends with their friends maybe you can say hi too so y'all are acknowledging each other on good terms and reduces awkwardness or overthinking. Then, while you socialise you might meet new people and can mingle around. It’s gonna be fun I hope.