Panic Attacks and feeling so overwhelmed
I started having panic attacks a couple of months ago. I had not had regular panic in years. Occasional anxiety, yes, but not full-blown panic. It's such a horrible feeling. I find it difficult to get out of bed. I have gained 30 pounds in the last year and a half, quit running (I've been a runner and into fitness for years) I feel like my life is falling apart. I do not know how to deal with so much stress in my life. I feel like it's too much at times. I was fine until just a few months ago. I started taking medication 10 days ago. It helps but I still have panic and then have to take xanax to help. It makes me tired but I am grateful I have it. Is there any hope? I feel so lost and defeated. Thanks for helping.
Hi, may I ask what is it that trigger your panic attacks? It's really important to divert yourself from particular stressors. Your health is a priority. It's a great step that you're seeking help here and are aware. I can relate to it somehow because I've lost my motivation and refuse to go out. I eat too much and just do minimal exercises. But I just want to say that you should get back to shape, you were a runner and that's really amazing. What made you stop? I hope you get back on it or even as a hobby you can run laps again. I think working out, jogging can remove stress and can even uplift you. Or you can try other things like meditating, reading books, strolling around the park, just to relax your mind and reduce the stress.
I had to deal with some particularly stressful situations this year. One right after another. It, I guess, became too much for me. They were major situations. I used to think I was so strong but now I feel so overwhelmed. The first panic attack started at work. I felt my mind racing; I couldn't stop the thoughts. Then the overwhelming fear and need to escape, and the racing heart, and the fear I wasn't going to be okay...then it progressed to driving. When I would leave for work I would get about 6 or 7 blocks from my house and then the "what if something happens to you...who will help you...and the symptoms overtook me" I tried breathing and talking myself down. I tried to think of a place I could get to so someone could help me. This is so ridiculous that I am like this. I also wake up in the middle of the night panic-stricken. I am dealing with a couple of particularly stressful situations and I guess it has taken it's toll on me. I even had to quit drinking coffee which a couple of months ago never bothered me. I feel hopeless in the sense I am alone and I see no one in sight. I have friends but they have families and their own lives. I feel like a burden if I start talking about the problems I am dealing with. A couple of people tell me they would just like to see me move on. And then I quit talking about it with people because it just isn't worth it. The thing with problems is you have to deal with them. You cannot just move along -sometimes there are situations that require real intervention. I quit running for a silly reason now that I am about to type it. I have worked out, taken good care of myself, I am educated, and blah, blah...I liked a man. He played me so badly. One day I said why bother. If I have done all of this and worked so hard and it's still not enough, why try. And there is what I did. For some unknown reason I took another person's rejection and the feelings of being discarded like yesterday's trash to heart. Now, I struggle to look decent. I've noticed I have let myself go. I wear the same outfit pretty much all weekend. It's too much effort to try. Crazy, I know. But I can't seem to shake it. I'm always tired. I like staying home and away from people, yet I am desperately lonely for genuine connection. I read all of the time, I started mediating last week, and started trying to run with a run/walk program. When I get too far from my house I feel panic stricken...and the thought of being around large crowds of people and dealing with the craziness overwhelms me. What do you think? Lost cause:) I just want to be happy and feel good again.
I understand what you're going through. It's not at all silly, sometimes rejection can really bring you down. Or we can say that having a heartbreak can really damage a person. But it's good that you are aware of what caused the problem and are now taking action in getting your self confidence back, so congrats on that. It's not a lost cause, in fact it's the right decision, you're doing your best in overcoming your fears etc. It also helps that you interact more with new people (like in your running program). You have the same goals (getting fit) and can talk casually, so you can forget about stressful things. So yes continue with what you're doing. Healing takes time. You just have to focus a bit and not give up.
About not being able to vent out and not having people to talk to, I also learned that the hard way. Sometimes we can get lucky when we have someone to talk to but we also have to fight for ourselves. I mean, I used to tell my best friend about my very unhealthy relationship with my ex and my zero confidence all the time, but the time comes when you have to just stand up, choose to not be affected (at least not all the time) by the stressors or the trauma and do new things, be productive. I know you can do this. Just breathe and let go, don't worry too much (I know panic attacks, fear of large crowds, looking silly are paralyzing things but we got to stay strong and work through it). Don't think of bad things too much. Have faith that everything will turn out okay, or even great. When you walk out that door, go to work, or drive, take a deep breath, say to yourself many times "I can do it, I can do this". It's like a mantra and it's simple but it works. (I also say it with my name like it's an order or encouragement to my brain our subconscious that I really can do it). Believe in yourself. Your capacity isn't determined by a lover or any other person, or any situation, you are great and are gonna get better.
There is hope, I have panic disorder and I'm on medications for it and my panic attacks are prevented, now I'm in remission. So what I want to tell you - get help, get medications, listen to your doctor and everything will be alright.
xoxo
@alexlove Thank you for your encouraging words. I hope it will get better soon...
