first post i'm really anxious lately

@LincolnB How old are you? Teen years are quite young to be having such severe anxiety issues my dear. Suicide is not the answer by the way. When I was a teenager .. 20 years ago lol ... I grew up with a single mother. She was critical, unsupportive, manipulative, and just mean. I learned how to hold in my emotions and dreams until I grew up and finally moved out! Unfortunately, what happens in your childhood does effect you as you turn into an adult. My mother wasn't nurturing, so I never learned how to express my feelings. I went through many dysfunctional and mentally abusive relationships. I am just learning how to build my self esteem and self love. You are still very young and can build a promising future. What is hurting and bothering you, you need to talk to your loved ones. A parent who ignores or laughs at a child's feelings, like my mother did, is an abuser. If that happens, then you need to find help. I didn't because I just got used to her BS. And your girlfriend will be okay, it was just an unfortunate side effect. Never think your opinion and concerns don't matter.