how do i help someone through a panic attack?
my boyfriend gets panic attacks quite frequently and i want to help him through them the best i can. it normally happens when he feels like he did something wrong and he just curls up and i just hold him and sometimes he'll push me away but then he'll hold my hand and i just hold him again and i just tell him that i'm there for him and try to make him feel like what he didn't wasn't wrong, usually because it isn't, but i don't wanna make it worse and i'm new to this and i just want to be there for him
also! his only way of calming down normally is to hurt himself in some way and i don't want him to so i do really want to be there for him
@plumPal30 often self harm is a way to feel a sensation because sometimes when we're over thinking we feel quite numb. So deep pressure is really good for creating a sensation with out hurting them physically - a tight long hugs, weighted blanket or heavy duvet and blankets, doing resistance exercises and ones that cause you to use the muscles that get tense eg a plank or press the palm of hands together as hard as you can for ten seconds and then repeat. I don't know if this is helpful, I hope it is :)
@funkyBanana4842 thank you i'll definitely have to try these!
I always carry my iPod with me and whenever I feel one coming, I have something calming to listen to, and try to focus on it. Each panic attack is different for everyone, sometimes I'll just need someone to help me with my breathing or just to talk to me about normal things, just don't expect him to answer you back!
I am glad to hear you are learning how to best help your boyfriend through his panic attacks. That says a lot about you and your relationship. I also respond well to being held without the person saying anything and I used to self harm as well. Music is also helpful. Sometimes, and this goes along with the sensory aspect, I will take a hot shower and it will kind of "reset" me.
@plumPal30 I normally have this problem a lot as well with my best friend but what I do is try to tell her that it'll be okay and I try to take her mind off of everything that makes her have panic attacks. Maybe try singing or talking about something that calms him.
Everyone is comforted differently whilst in the midst of a panic attack. Ask your boyfriend what makes him feel comfortable. When I have a panic attack, just having other people around is a catalyst, making the panic attack worse. I need to be left alone to practice deep breathing exercises until they pass.
Btw, I find it awesome that your trying to learn more and help him through his panic attacks. That is very admirable!
I often find that touch can be either very helpful or it can make a panic attack worse. With anxious people it's especially important to ask if he wants you to hold him or if he wants to be left alone. Panic and anxiety are different for different people. Having a discussion about what can trigger his panic and what can help is one of the best ways to help him.
