Anxiety - Coping Skills/Advice?
Bit of a long story.
Hello there. I'm new to 7 Cups and I'm hoping through this thread I'll be able to feel better after venting about a current problem I'm dealing with. I'm a 20 year old girl who lives at home with my mother. I leave for university next year.
At the moment, my mother is allowing my alcoholic brother and his wife to stay with us for two weeks. Whenever they are here it is an extremely toxic environment due to his drinking and erratic behavior because of it. His wife is no better, and they argue all the time; loud enough that escaping to my room is no good.
Whenever they come to stay, or even visit, I get extremely anxious because I don't know how they're going to act. And being around my brother when he's drunk scares me. I'm not confrontational, and so I stay to myself.
I've discussed my feelings with my mother countless times. Even though she understands I believe she continues to let them stay or visit for long periods of time because she feels like a bad mother if she lets them go without help. She's also an enabler to my brother because she has a slight drinking problem, too.
I worry a lot 24/7, but I worry about my mom and her stress/health more than me because I know she feels bad not only for them, but also because she feels like she probably failed as a mother. I worry about those more than myself in this situation.
Any advice or coping skills that can help me is greatly appreciated. I don't know what else to do.
Thank you.
@CherryBerryRose
Only if it is safe, talk to your brother and his wife about their problem. I know you said you do not like confrontation, but sometimes we just have to stand up. You can do this (again, only if it is safe) or you can do research on alcoholism, print out the articles or find pamphlets and give it to them. Be serious with them, maybe remind them that it''s for better health.
Do they know that they have problems with alcohol, or are they in denial. Encourage the best out of them, by reminding them that there is still time for them to be better people. Mention that changes occur throughout peoples' lives at many different times, and clearing themselves from this alcohol problem must be one of them. Push them to work together, write a journal to keep tabs or join a community. If that doesn't work, then you just may have to continue isolating yourself from them.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I do truly wish that thiings get better.
Do your best to keep a peace of mind. Make up up for their lack of self care by taking extra care of yourself in that environment. You may just be setting an example for them by doing so.
