Hi there everyone. I’m brand new here. Tim’s the name, and worrying is my game! I’ve had anxiety problems for about as long as I can remember, and it hasn’t exactly been helped by my Asperger Syndrome, my ADHD, my OCD, and more recently, my depression. It’s been one of the primary obstacles throughout my life that I’ve had to deal with when trying to obtain the things that want the most - including good grades, stable employment, a fulfilling social life, a healthy body, respect or acceptance by my peers, a loving relationship, and independence from my parents and other parties.

I believe that a type of anxiety that has given me the most problems and constantly keeps me from accomplishing my goals or enjoying my life more is anxiety over not knowing 100000% what I’m doing; worrying that I might be making a mistake or doing something wrong; fear that I’m not doing good or doing enough period; paranoia that I’m potentially being/doing “wrong” or “bad” in some way. In other words, I find myself constantly saying to myself “I don’t know what to do” or “I can’t do this on my own”, and assume that unless I have direct guidance or direction from someone else, I’m going to mess up, make a mistake, or just do a poor job. It’s extremely difficult for me to confidently rely on my own judgment, intuition, or opinion; I NEED someone else to assure me each step of the way that I’m on the right track and that I don’t have anything to worry about at all.

This sort of constant worrying and self-doubting bleeds into pretty much every aspect of my life, whether it be socializing with strangers or friends, doing a task or project for work, studying, communicating with other people in any way, physical exercise, or doing something that is designed to ease my anxiety and reduce how much I question myself - like reading a self-help book or meditating or sharing my experiences on websites like this one. Essentially, whenever I do anything in my life, I can’t help but think that I’m probably not doing enough, not working hard enough, doing a poor job, being lazy or dumb, not committing myself enough, making tons of mistakes, or just being “wrong” or “bad” in some way.

I think you can imagine how this has affected my life and overall happiness: so many things I want to try out that I’m too scared to take any risks or chances, so many times I could’ve done a better job on something if I wasn’t second-guessing myself at every single turn, so many goals I’ve failed to meet because I was so convinced that I couldn’t do it or that I wouldn’t be able to pull it off after trying only a little bit, and so many instances in which I gave up on something that could’ve been really good for me because I couldn’t reassure myself that I was doing fine and more than enough. It would be so awesome if I could do something more complicated than driving a car or microwaving some hot pockets and say to myself “I know what I’m doing, I’m definitely working hard enough, and I am doing a good job.”

Can anyone here relate to what I’m talking about? If so, please share your story below and tell me how you personally deal with this fear of failure/of “f%#+ing up”. I’m interested to see how others cope with the voice inside their head telling them “you’re doing it wrong” or “you’re not doing enough/not enough period”.