Anxious and Insecure about my Relationship
Hey everyone! I'm currently new to 7 Cups and I would like to share my anxiety and insecurities. I've currently been in an on and off long distance relationship for almost a year and I'm very in love with my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in person yet (but we facetime and video chat constantly so I know he's not a catfish LOL). He just completely understands me and he's never broken my trust. However, there's always a problem. It's me. My insecurities, anxiety, and trust issues are really impacting this relationship. I've never been in a serious relationship before and my past with guys have consisted of just being a "thing". I'm trying to figure out the roots of this problem. During my childhood, I went through a lot of emotional abuse from my family. Constant pressure and many hurtful comments. I never felt good enough for them and I feel like maybe this is why I'm feeling like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend. I've also been really insecure about him being tempted to cheat on me. Whenever he goes out with friends to drink, I get scared that he'll be tempted to talk or do something with another girl. It puts me through so much anxiety and I start to overthink and panic about the littlest things. He always gives me reassurance and tells me that I'm the only one. He always tells me he only loves me, but I still get that paranoia and I want to stop that. Whenever he goes to a party or out with friends, I start to overthink and panic again. I get scared that he might get too drunk and start doing irrational things with other girls.
I'm currently calming down and feeling a little better.
@insecurepearl431
You have no idea how ''relieved'' I feel right now. I feel THE SAME WAY. But it's even worse. I am in a relationship 4 years and we even live together but when we're back in our hometown I'm with my dad, and he's with his family and friends, which I know IS OKAY but all the time all I can think about is that he's better off without me, he has more fun without me, he can't wait to be without me... (which has NOTHING to do with him but it's my shitty talk to myself)
Even when we are here we see each other every, every other day, but if he goes out without me one time I feel like you feel. I even attack him for no reason at all because he made it really clear how much he hates cheating. He really did everything for me he even quit his old job to come to live with me where I study, and it's my anxiety issues and my low self esteem and I don't want to do that anymore to him or to me or to us and I don't know how to stop.
Hey @renata001,
It's actually relieving to know that I'm not alone in this. My self esteem has always been low since I was younger and I hated it. I can definitely understand what you're going through. To me, it sounds like your boyfriend loves you very much and you have nothing to worry about. The fact that he was willing to compromise his job for you is actually a very bold move. I understand that you still get paranoid and anxious because trust me, I do all the time. Today I almost had an anxiety attack because I thought he was lying to me (which wasn't true AT ALL). My advice for you is to realize any triggers to your anxiety and paranoia of him doing something behind your back and working to overcome it. As long as he isn't acting strange or distant towards you, you have nothing to worry about. I'm also always here to listen if you ever need anyone to talk to. Stay strong! :)
@insecurepearl431
Yes I know all of that, just like you. It's all in my head and my head sucks. I'm really trying not to act out with no reason at all but I also have panic attacks and my heart rate gets really high so I manifest that through shittz behaviour