Anxious and afraid for 40 years
I'm 44. I don't remember laughter. I pretend. I smile, I fake it. I don't remember being relaxed, not even as a kid.
Fear of being embarrassed. Fear of everyone finding out I'm a loser. Fear of not being able to support my family. Fear of something happening to my kids. I am so tired.
Hi there, wanted to tell you a little about my story and it might help you in some way. I am over 50 and had a very abusive childhood, so badly that I walked my entire life in fear and faked decades of smiling, being perfect etc. Well one day a tragedy hit me on a personal level and it triggered a bad CPtsd issue. So in the last 3 years I am slowly changing my life and becoming my true self, going to therapy to face my abusive past. It was severe and I can tell you I've dealt with so much pain. I changed my job and removed the backstabbers from my circle. I was scared to show the real me fearing rejection from the ones I love. Slowly explaining and being me has been so cathartic. The ones that matter love the real me!! So know that you are worthy and matter and ppl care!! I learned I had to take care of myself so I could give to others. I hope this helps, I feel your pain, pls take care it's ok to ask for help. ABB.
Life isn't all about suffering. I advise you to watch the amazing world of gumball and park show. Maybe perfect strangers? That should most definitely make you laugh❤️
Oh and also, being able to share it here is a big thing! We are proud of you
@WorthlessAddict76
Dear, it's totally normal to feel lost and emotional, thoughts are like radio stations. some are happy and uplifting, some are hardcore thrasher. If you want to stop negative thoughts, you must learn how to change the channel.
Best wishes to you!
