Beyond Stressed
It’s getting close to Christmas and I’m having loads of anxiety. Christmas Day is my son’s 1st birthday and as much as I would love to make a huge deal and spend it with family, I’m having trouble convincing myself to make that happen.
Now, bear with me, I know this may seem selfish but for some background: we moved just over a year ago across the country because of COVID. We were forced to live for 7 months with my mother-in-law who is a gaslighting, toxic person who openly told me how horrible of a wife and person I am and how sorry she felt for her son that he married me.
When she moved out, I set boundaries with the rest of the family that I didn’t want to see her or talk to her or have my son around her because she’s always been like this for the 5 years that I’ve known her and it isn’t healthy for anyone. Now, because it is Christmas, they are all like “we don’t want to hurt her feelings by not inviting her.” This isn’t the first time they’ve expressed sentiments like this but normally they don’t come to anything. This is different though because they’ve already invited her because she asked what we, including her, were doing for the baby’s birthday.
I’m not trying to be a pain but am I wrong in upholding my boundaries and what I believe to be best for my son at the risk of upsetting the rest of the family? It has been grating on me for days now and I am just dreading the possibility of having to be near her. I already compromised once and saw her for my husband’s birthday where she told me she can’t change.
Sorry for the monologue!
@lawfullybroken
That does sound stressful, and I can totally understand you feeling anxiety in this situation. I have only just seen this; how was your Christmas Day?
You don't sound at all selfish to me, it can be horribly painful and unbearable to be in that situation, and around difficult people, especially when there is gaslighting and rude judgements directed at you. 💛
It’s getting close to Christmas and I’m having loads of anxiety. Christmas Day is my son’s 1st birthday and as much as I would love to make a huge deal and spend it with family, I’m having trouble convincing myself to make that happen.
Now, bear with me, I know this may seem selfish but for some background: we moved just over a year ago across the country because of COVID. We were forced to live for 7 months with my mother-in-law who is a gaslighting, toxic person who openly told me how horrible of a wife and person I am and how sorry she felt for her son that he married me.
When she moved out, I set boundaries with the rest of the family that I didn’t want to see her or talk to her or have my son around her because she’s always been like this for the 5 years that I’ve known her and it isn’t healthy for anyone. Now, because it is Christmas, they are all like “we don’t want to hurt her feelings by not inviting her.” This isn’t the first time they’ve expressed sentiments like this but normally they don’t come to anything. This is different though because they’ve already invited her because she asked what we, including her, were doing for the baby’s birthday.
I’m not trying to be a pain but am I wrong in upholding my boundaries and what I believe to be best for my son at the risk of upsetting the rest of the family? It has been grating on me for days now and I am just dreading the possibility of having to be near her. I already compromised once and saw her for my husband’s birthday where she told me she can’t change.
Sorry for the monologue!
@lawfullybroken
SORRY I accidentally pasted your post at the end of my comment. 😮🙈😆
