Blackout drunk paranoia
People see me as a friendly person, happy etc. but sometimes I get blackout drunk when I am out with friends and I don't know why it always happens. It was like I got used to it and with the people around me it feels like it was a normal thing. The paranoia is the one that kills me. I get depressed and stuck in bed for 2 days trying to recall what I said or did. It kills me inside and gives me bad thoughts. This is just one of the many problems I am stuggling with. I think alcohol is not for me but per pressur is what makes me drink. I have been diagnosed with BPD. Does anyone stuggle with the same thing?
@Bpd1107
When I had to go on business trips while in manufacturing, it was an 'expectation' for people to get extraordinarily intoxicated. I remember once that I was been verbally harassed by a co-worker who said I wasn't drinking enough. Drinking more than what is comfortable or in moderation will lead to health concerns, particularly with the liver and weight gain. I recommend that you resist peer pressure and not drink as much if it makes you uncomfortable. You never know what you did on the previous night, and that is a very bad position to be in. I can empathize at times; life is very hard, and alcohol is the #1 used drug in the U.S. (assuming you're in the US). You can ask for sprite or ice tea in a beer mug without ice, and no one would be the wiser.