Bullying trauma
In highschool I was bullied by these girls and their friends. They would talk about me behind my back. They would snicker and laugh whenever I walked by and I would catch them taking videos. One day I found out there was a picture of me on facebook that they had posted. This guy they knew had to sit beside me in class because his seat was taken. The girls he knew who bullied me took a picture and posted it. They captioned it the new lovebirds. In the comments people were making fun of me, saying his ex girlfriend is prettier. Commenting how ugly I was compared to her etc. I never forgot that moment. It was my sister who found it. Her friend had told her. I remember feeling embarrassed. She looked up to me. Today I saw one of the girls who posted the picture and it brought back the anixety and all the terrible emotions I felt back then. I spent an hour when I got home trying to find them on facebook just so I could see if the photo was still up. I wanted to read the comments and see if anyone stood up for me back then. I had mutal acquaintances with the group who bullied me that I wasn't close with but they were civial and friendly with me. Over the years I have reacquainted with some of the people who I was friendly with but now I am doubting them. Did they see the post? Did they defend me? Did they tell them to take it down? I couldn't find them on facebook. It's been 8 yrs since highschool. I want to move on and heal. I have lived my life since doubting everyone around me. I have avoided places so I don't see anyone from back then and I even moved out of that neighborhood as soon as I was 18. I am done running away but I can't help what I am feeling.
@honestBranch3491
I understand how you feel. Very relatably so. I'm still struck back when I notice my old high school bullies walking around the area. They still give me a strange look and I feel uncomfortable. I didn't even do anything wrong and they always made me feel so guilty. People are really cruel in high school. I'll never forget the pain they had caused me either. I just wanted to say you're not alone and I too have had my share of trauma from bullying. Even if we can't fully trust others right now, I'm taking it one step at a time. If they do anything at all to even disrupt this trust, I'll never forgive them. Truly. My heart goes out to you.Even when old memories resurface we still remain strong. Good luck!
@honestBranch3491 i am terribly sorry that they were so horrible to you i myself was bullied as a teenager it was really a hard time for me i was bullied in real life and online i finally got help and healed from it but it still triggers me if people are rude.
@honestBranch3491
Ireally feel fr you alot...I would have liked to have a daughter just to teach her...mobbing and bullying in school is very severe...and noone cares but the ones who care about you..
@carefulCup1049
It is no fun, but you will survive past this trauma...it is the only thing you can do....ypu cannot punish the bullies like they deserve to be punished so you will just be a resigned victim moving away...always the losimg victim suffers twice, the trauma and the injustice....just because nobody does anything...we treatand teach victims how to cope but we never punish the bullies...it is sad...and morally twisted...