By Myself

Over the past few months, my mental health has deteriorated. I've been to uni before and left my family before but this time it feels different. Maybe it's because of the distance but this time is worse. I've always been a quiet person, not getting involved and all that but even i know how ridiculous i can be sometimes. I mean, after 2 months of me being at uni, people still didn't know my name, even the people i'd been hanging out with. I leave early, and sometimes i don't go in for days or even weeks, it's starting to take it's toll now, like today i hadnt been in for two weeks, and i was dreading going in, i may have slapped myself but i convinced myself to go in. Instantly, the heartbeat the sweating, it was like i was burning at the thought of everyone looking at me. I was too afraid to move, but eventually i left and here i am now. No one to talk to, i don't tell my family what goes on, because i'll know they'll worry and i don't really have any friends i can talk too. Even my best friend, i'm too afraid to message him because we haven't spoke for some time and he's got his own life going on with his own house and fiancee, and i feel like if i message him now i'll just be bothering him. I thikn that's my main problem, i just don't want to get in anyones way. So that's it, probably not the worst thing that's happened to anyone, but it's shit for me