Can anyone please help me out
Actually I and my friend are pursuing 12th std right now n basically going to give neet...one of competitive exam for medical ... So my friend doesn't share any material with me and if I ask she always have excuse If I ask her question she tells she don't know and ironical get full marks in that same question She was a part of group where her friends used to talk rubbish about me behind my back. N in return I share my notes and my study material thinking she is my friend. If she asks me questions I give polite and understandable explaination of whole answer. But now m very stuck Previously this things had happened to me as m topper. But not this deep and intense She literally copies everything to me and doesn't share anything with me. At that time when previously in last 4 5 years this happened I used to share things as I do now and they even got marks but not more than me n I don't even use to think of that but today m very confused what to do as it is of competitive exam n everyone is struggling for 1 1 mark...n she gets more marks then me some times....so basically should I continue sharing everything with her n inreturn getting nothing n trusting God....or should I stop sharing things with her and be with her like she is to me... Plz help
@philosophicalDrum2376
It is your choice, but if you feel that she is taking advantage of you, you feel uncomfortable, and you don't want to share your notes, then you do not have to! It is quite OK to say no. It can feel strange and take a bit of practise, but being able to say NO is an important skill to learn.
When we learn to be our genuine authentic selves we tend to attract people who are more like us, who can be friends. Sometimes that means letting go of unhealthy relationships. Good luck with whatever you choose. 💛
@philosophicalDrum2376
Hello there, I am sorry that you had to experience that kind of toxic friendship. Unfortunately human relations tend to be asymetrical, one gives more of something to the other person and recieve less of that thing. Sometimes its more or less compensated, one person may clean the house and do the cooking, and the other person may do the shopping and the paperwork (just as an example).
Other times its not compensated, one person do the cleaning, cooking, shopping and the paperwork while the other person gives very little or nothing in return.
In the worst cases that other person may even verbally abuse or hurt.
Why do some people support those toxic relations? What do they get from them?
Some may feel they are not worth a better relation, some may feel that being treated that way its normal acording to their past experiences, some may be so focused on helping the other person that they dont even see their own needs. In other cases they think its their fault that they are abused. Some people do have difficulties understanding how circles of trust and personal boundaries do work.
There is a course on boundaries on 7 cups: https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/
I cant know what is the best for you, or if that person you talk about may be giving you something of value in exchange of your help, or what are your feelings about her. I have no idea of your past or your needs, so I am not in a possition to answer your question.
I hope your exam went well and I wish you luck with your future human relations, that is something worth to study and work as hard as professional exams.
Hugs. 😊