Dont know what to do anymore
I wrote about this only almost everytime I have that weird feeling of loosing control over my emotions and thoughts... These are the thoughts which make me crazy almost every day... Its weird how if I am in a quite headspace I suddenly have this thought that do I deserve to have this much peace in my life?? And right after having feeling i start getting worried and anxious and slowly it just give me episode of an sudden rush of all feelings which we can feel and my heart starts racing so fast.. and there are all the thoughts which I judge myself for starts popping in my mind .. do I deserve to be this quite? Do I deserve the attention people are giving in? Am I even worth it? Who am I? Why do even people talk to me? Why do my friends say I changed and kind of lost touch? What did I do wrong? Why am I like this? Why cant I do something good? Why do all my actions lead to suffering of someone else? All these thoughts along with my current 'possession' what if I cant take care of my parents well? I am supposed to do that now but what if I am lacking in that too? What if I am making them suffer more? What if they are dissappointed in me but cant tell me.... All of these are making me crazy...
@unassumingJar1322
answer to all your questions about do you deserve to have the piece, are you worth it, do you deserve the atention... is yes. Everyone deserve happynes and so do you. People talk to you because they obviously like you, something drawns them towards you, also it's okay if your friends said you changed, noone stays the same forever and changes arent a bad thing. you did nothing wrong, you just became diferent, perhaps more independent so you don't feel the need to talk to them as often as you used to. i dont know you but i believe that you did alot of good in your life, the fact that you care for people (here what you wrote specificly your parents) makes you a good pearson, someone with good intentions. maybe sometimes you actions dont give best results, and yes sometimes maybe people get hurt, but it's all part of life and it doesnt make you bad and unworthy. things hapen. it will work out eventualy, just breathe and try to think less. i know... easyer said than done. but still, just when you feel piecefull finaly try not to think about do you deserve it, just enjoy it and make good use of it. i hope what i wrote make sence and will maybe calm you down a bit. I wish you'll have a nice day, if not today then tomorow. :)
It did... Thank you.. genuinely for saying nice words for me...