Enforcing boundaries for the first time
I have had anxiety for most of my life and I literally had an epiphany over the past 3 days that a large part of my anxiety stems from placing myself in a caretaker role with my friends and everyone I know because I feel like they won't love me unless I internalize and take on all their problems. I take care of others first even when it is draining or stressful. I am starting to put myself first because I am realizing I can be loved even if I don't make a martyr of myself. This has soothed so much of my anxiety but my friends' reactions to this are a bit worrying. They take me putting up boundaries as a sign that I don't want to help anymore, when really I said "Let me have some space to recharge and I will be happy to help when I have energy." I feel resentful because it seems like they're trying to make me feel guilty for doing something for myself for once...even though their reactions are understandable. I am gonna do it regardless but I wish people would understand that it's not that I don't care about them but that I need to care about myself more if I want to be better.
@Evenstar8 I feel this so much. And when I set boundaries (mostly in relation to my mother) she makes me feel bad and guilty and that triggers my delusion of me being an evil person. I just wanna say that I feel you, and just keep going! You can do it! Don't let them make you feel guilty, bc you put yourself first. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others! 
@EvilRegalsReadToo
Reading your comment made me feel less guilty, thank-you!
@Evenstar8 No problem
@EvilRegalsReadToo Hi! I feel you so much!!!!! And I'd feel extra guilty and or mad when my mother took it the wrong way. It's such a shame she couldn't understand that I too need some boundaries. Hope everything turns out ok for all of us!
Yeah, I got many accusations of being selfish and unempathetic when I first started doing this. People don't like when their friends change, it makes them unsure about themselves and insecure. Not putting everybody's needs before your own can sometimes hurt others, but it's necessary for your mental health and wellbeing.
I used to do everything I could to make other people comfortable/feel seen and heard. Often, my feelings about something were completely dismissed in favor of theirs if I ended up having a situation in my life. My huge life traumas ended up being made about them and how my reactions were making them feel. They're not bad people, just a little blind. We all do it sometimes. Worse than that, my mistakes were interpreted as HUGE because I had always taken on the caretaker role. Don't do this to yourself lol.
You're not alone!
@dworth257
It is nice to know that I am not alone and that other people have managed to do it, thank-you for giving me hope
@Evenstar8 No. Way. This is exactly how I feel! (my INFJ self really isn't helping much either :p)
I wish I can gather all the courage to have time to myself to recharge :( I'm working on it.
After reading your post, I feel more confident and I think if you're able to set boundaries and heal up, I'm able to do it too! I'm rooting for you - you can do it! We all can do this! ^^ Thank you
@BenjaminLee23
As a fellow INFJ I totally understand! Glad that my post made you feel hopeful :) We can do this if we just keep at it and care for ourselves as much as we care about others!
@Evenstar8 Learning to care about ourselves as much as we do others is the lesson I'm currently working on myself and having a hard time learning how to set boundaries. It's also a lesson in patience because nothing every happens on our time schedule, no matter how bad we want it. It's hard but WE GOT THIS. 
@Evenstar8 Like they say on the airplane, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. I have only recently begun to understand boundaries actually as I have been more of a giver for the most part. I think it's incredibly selfish of others who have been taking from you all this time to not understand that you need your space or that they need to reciprocate once in a while. Please do not feel bad, if there is no you, then there is no helping another. Hopefully they will eventually get it and maybe even learn to appreciate you more considering the value you gave to them.
@sensitiveLychee8245
Thank-you, your words really gave me hope :)